whenever i start making posts that include pronouns to protect the identity of the subject i know it's time to move to my diary

while other people being able to understand is nice, my rejection of my own ambiguity is largely for my own sake (mostly at the time of writing because ive learned how dangerous its influences is on me, but also for looking back so i have a better understanding without extended cross-reference)

obviously this is a reply to em, but not in a way i felt i could appropriately reply to any of her posts with. id have more to say directly but it's also not so much my place, and it's all more personal anyway

there's long been this exciting archival ideal to me of either having a linear display of all messages i send (dms, diary, posts, voice memos, etc) or having a nice way to connect one archive type to the next based on the time. even though im not so obsessed with that stuff anymore it still excites.

kasey / love is such a cool topic title for my highest positive valence posting

kasey / love / cool / cute / yay

mino dot mobi slash judge btw

im squishy you should try touching me

im too shaky over minor things

had a nightmare i was randomly pulled up on stage to give a presentation i had never seen before that kasey made

idk maybe i'm frustrated about being incompetent again and about how slowly i learn

i overdid it tonight but the alternative of doing nothing in bed again is so lame

i know i should take it easy still, i know there's no use in overexerting myself and extending the duration of exhaustion, but like :(

i don't mind so much when it's voluntary but when the tired-making activity is boring and undesired it makes the downtime all the more drab

it's embarrassing because i have no reason to be tired given the raw amount of work performed, but between the anxiety of interacting with backups and the required socialization of being in a room with dozens of people for 11 hours a day, it really does take a toll on me

that sinking feeling when my past actions come to haunt me subtitle: my job makes me act on like 20% epistemic certainty at all times subsubtitle: skill issue

go-live is socially exhausting, hour and a half long lunch break is worse than any work obligation

im just gonna run and hide for the next hour

humbly i think i have the best diary microblog posting out there

like yea the volume can be high at times but i think often the content is personal and engaging and not excessively vague, it isn't just filled with excessive rumination nor excessive descriptions, it's just thoughts i have and they tend to be reasonably varied

i freaking love the kirby kiss blush gif

muhahaha for my next devious scheme i will ingest 200mg prog and allow my body to rest and recover

time to lay down in the dark and warm

fun fact: you do not need a cuddle buddy if you have a warm and soft blanket instead

if i designed an api i would make poor choices and then painfully redesign it later

hack: first draft api routes under /v0/ so when you're forced to iterate it looks less embarrassing

olivia said my hair looked really pretty and had beautiful curls today and i blushed so hard

still sensitive but they actually feel a lot better by now, which is a relief

honestly this was really uncomfortable and i was worried when i woke up this morning and it was still off

hehe thats funny

wasn't kidding

she's exercising her pelvic floor for an amazing reason

understimming my ears as an apology

it's probably good that im on go-live this week to discourage their usage, as long as the room doesn't get too loud

gn chat, see u tmrw for wagie wednesday o7

i know danii knows about this account but i hope it doesn't peek so i get the chance to process things and have my framing be apt to that understanding, rather than the version presented here

one of the cool things about catch-up call is that we get to really engage back and forth on each topic, in a way that would be undercut by foreknowledge

being an adult is great sometimes

i had the brilliant foresight to pack a change of shirt and sweatshirt, i felt v refreshed at the top of the night

whew home

1am car wash listening to an incel talk about how they started dating a filipina trans girl on a dating app, life doesn't get better than this

also it was a dating app for autistic people and he's extremely depressed about it, it's so funny

i took good care of my hair today and it was rewarding and still smells and feels nice

"have a good one" is just a goated universally applicable pleasantry imperative

posts a lot: apologies to o

can't wait to get home and wash my face

i should have gotten an extra water, i didn't realize id be this thirsty

cue not queue!