i like the little bit of t-shirt that sticks out of underneath a sweatshirt

this is an old-style willow sentiment that i don’t totally feel nowadays but: i don’t like recency all that much, i like slow pace of lingering interactions, necroposts are cool and one of the things i found disappointing is that all these repos had vast accumulations of posts and no one interacted

with them unless they were a few hours old. not to say i have a good way of surfacing those things, and interacting with old things requires a different engagement style, but the recency and demand for constant new attention was a little strange and uncomfortable to me.

when i found an account i hadn’t seen before and was interested in, i liked going back through their things.

part of the reason i’m appreciating the separation of my online presence right now is that i have to intentionally seek out interaction, and it’s more periodic, rather than passive and constant. it’s more like replying to an email instead of replying to a text message

sure, you do miss out on Discourse at its peak and the hot new shit, but arguably that’s largely a benefit. there are real benefits to coordinated thought and discussion on topics and it’s cool to be social like that, but it does sometimes feel like it can swallow one’s independent pursuits.

all the incentives are for recency and engagement and increasing the velocity of it all, and it takes a lot of effort to use things contrary to their intended function

various layers of priv kind of solve this but they have their own issues

anyways that’s my 8 hour old hailey discourse-bait contribution

she had really nice wavy black hair and was holding a couple of bags. we didn’t work together every day because she worked in a different division. i’m like 98% sure she’s heavily inspired by an alternate timeline of a latina chick i went to high school with who dropped out because she got pregnant.

i really liked her. her coworkers were aware and were cool with it all, including the shift manager. they served unconventional drinks they were eager to have me try. i kept coming around during slow hours, early before the late night rush or as they were closing.

and that’s really what i meant by “more adult”. despite the connotations (which were intentional but…), really it was just that she didn’t like the sleazy guys that came around and wanted something more serious and steady but no less exciting and flirty.

she could handle herself and was established and confident and secure, it’s not like she needed me or i was amazing in any way. we were just nice together and had a lot of mutual respect and interest.

she was one of like four or five girls i had sex with in different locations. one was a bartender and we had a ton of sexual chemistry in front of her coworkers and she really wanted to try out more adult things. she was a surprisingly talented digital artist and took a tablet everywhere.

one was some chick i passed in the hallway at work who signaled to me, grabbed my arm, and took me to have sex in her car

one dragged me away from working on cars in the garage with a few guys (but like, after we finished the actual repairs and logistics, they were just wrapping up). she was more spritely and curly and excitable

had another dream where i ate out a confident girl in fishnets and she did that awesome thing where she shoved my head into her clit more

the door was open and our friends were in the hallway. she was listening to some audiobook and periodically had me stop so she could tell me what she disagreed with, then demanded i keep going.

also sometimes she had a dick. horniest i’ve been in months, my heart is beating so fast

responsible disclosure is my tinder opener letting you know how many pages of anglophone political philosophy i’ve read

a better version of this skeet would use whatever the phrase is for when a court mandates you notify neighbors as a sex offender

surely it’s clear enough that i’m not proud of any of this

hey look char she’s doing the bit right now where she’s anxious people will think she’s not aware of her shortcomings

they’re mocking me

this is funny because it’s characteristic of someone not concerned with greatness but instead with avoiding wrongness

the moralists and epistemologists are too strong an influence i suppose

maybe it’s time to stop “living less wrongly” with adorno and try some unadulterated aristotle instead

“the anxiety of influence” frankly i have more anxiety about unconscious influence than the fact of influence at all, though i suppose i don’t create anything worth being anxious over

and the only reason i care about the unconscious part is that the influencing object might have shrouded ugly associations that introduce deficiencies in what i do, and it’d be nice to deliberate about those blights

i suppose there’s also a large constituent element that runs along the lines of being fearful of being unmasked by another. if i have foreknowledge i wont be blindsided and humiliated, the feeling goes

you know your message is bad when i open discord once every couple days and i still haven’t opened your 5 dms

this is such a funny next post after being so perturbed about not being able to communicate and connect with others

had a dream: i saw shapes and colors other people didn’t so i couldn’t communicate with them properly and i cried a lot

gonna need to call in freud on this one, simply too subtle and complex for the layperson to understand

also it wasn’t like “i can see these really important things other people can’t” like i was a genius, but it also wasn’t like i was hallucinating, they were just mundane regular things

i unironically applied and got rejected from the business school at my college

in fairness i applied early and had like no credits because i graduated high school early so the cycles were fucked

so anyway that’s why i did econ as my “respectable” major which erm, lol lmao. shoulda done cs but i didn’t know it was fun yet

since tonight is finance night with the bros my setup is: maxxed 401k (mostly roth, adding more trad tho) maxxed roth IRA rest to brokerage basically all in s&p500-likes, very little international / small-mid cap

fidelity for 401k, schwab for personal business major reject comic book villain

what da hell em

ur really hurting my dollar cost averaging grill pill strats of betting on the stablecoin that is the us economy

awareness is the enemy

tell me what you want rosetta

what’s up with euros and “learnt”

maybe just a uk thing idrk

i consider it an epistemic injustice that i have to read more william gillis this weekend

this is really funny if you’re up to date on current philosophy twt discourse

i was a good overachieving pup and solved all the issues in the whole wide world

how i felt writing that