i’m smiling today

i can’t wait for my play date with kasey

play date was pawsome

now i’m gonna find a dark space to hide

oh my god i’m so pretty

angel in an oversized sweatshirt

skill issue is a compliment when the skill is vicious

is like a logically valid thing to say and yet it’s not sound

file extensions are python type hints

pick your battles

me when i totally don’t miss juliet

i’ve stopped naming them, it feels too editorial

my voice hurts

taro :)

1/26/24 btw, messy and imperfect but it’s scrappy shit like that that helps me orient myself

i really like kasey

my place is a mess

i don’t want anyone to save me or make me feel better, i just want respite

lowkey today sucked shit

yesterday i was thinking about agitation, and that it was an emotion i wasn’t feeling. it was too animated. and now im very far in agitation mode

getting cold called into speaking to customers, weird obligations and communications and bullshit, i hate it and i wanna go home

i’ll be okay, i can dream the rest away

it sure takes its precious time

i’m so angry these days

the day ollie fell through i felt anger for the first time in what felt like forever, and now it seems so much more common

i’m seriously going to lose my mind if i have to parse another sentence that clearly uses english words but was miraculously strewn together by a monkey with duct tape in a random order

it’s not even like just random retards either i’m taking to the national director of revenue cycle and they are sub-literate

also congratulate me on making it a whole 24 hours before being put on the retard blocklists

“can you provide a more end-user friendly description” no 😭 that’s what it means dude

“here is a highly specific metric used in the background which relies upon domain-specific knowledge, can you make it so it doesn’t work like that?”

oh no the relay is doing That Thing again

#takecare #friendship

i love glue-chan

i slept for like 10 hours, plus the 3 hour nap yesterday

i should take it gentle today

yknow what i should work from home i still feel :/

i watched a decent amount of joseph anderson today, he’s kind of a lower stim NL

impotent transvaluation is difficult to catch in oneself

i think this is basically attributable to the fact that all affirmation is appraising that which can do no other; the difficulty resides in recognizing debility

and to spell out the obvious: weakness, if present, is prone to leave its bearer ill-equipped to characterize itself appropriately (which is similar but distinct from the situation in the transvaluative moment)

sometimes it is beneficial to the process to obscure the transvaluation itself, that these values did emerged with a negating moment. or it could be only partially recognized, with an acknowledgment of the negativity but a misattribution of whom or what is being negated.

there is lots of opportunity for failure in analysis at different levels, and it is likely that multiple will be incorporated into the obfuscating ego defense. those best positioned to examine the situation are also those most motivated to see the project of apprehension fail.

i talked about the specific cases i had in mind in the audio earlier so i don’t feel like im cheating by not providing examples. tl;dr this past year i tried making things into known personality traits, but they really stemmed from lukewarm failures and anxieties. think: gail breakup -> archival

immediately i feel like talking about lil watermark and have to decide if that’s a violation, i think not because not personal, but it’s still sentimental so im hesitant. anyway, he made good shit

i think i will add an operating heuristic to my list, i will largely refrain from commenting on others unless directly conversing with others

i'm a little self-absorbed at the moment and that is acceptable