i don’t want to obtuse about the possibility of walking yourself into rakes (i have plenty of experience with that), so maybe it has much more to do with the direct social and sensory aspects of the environment and much less to do with nebulous approximations of autonomy
dissociation is kind of cringe as a described and engaged with phenomenon, but it is nice to see my arms and look at environment and feel like i’m playing vr or watching a first person pov film
about it, and would probably be better off for it. i feel kinda similar, like i have a lot of sensitivities but im relatively secure and familiar with what they are, i dont think id get much out of abstracting
you need the metaphors to move and communicate in the world and i’ll take advantage of those as they come but ig i don’t feel the pull to make it anything bigger than what it is