i dont understand why people want to maintain moralistic concepts when it’s clearly so cumbersome. just say that this is violence and that you’re okay with it. you don’t even have to jump to “justifying” it, since that already assumes violence is inherently or even primarily evil by default.

maybe i just have philosophy autism but its kinda frustrating to see people so committed not advancing their evaluative model of the world. congrats your tribalism led you to cooler moral intuitions, but now its time to update your framework to not be nonsensical (hopefully drop the whole paradigm)

on the other hand, if you’re self-consciously engaging in rhetoric then that’s a political judgement of efficacy (though one i think you’ve made a poor choice with by short-term appealing to dominant values that undermine your long-term goals),

or if you’re drawing attention to the disparity in severity of violence between oppressors and oppressed then that’s chill too, but i don’t think that message was intended or received

oh no don’t be sorry at all. this wasn’t targeted at you, i had a few people i was messaging that i felt this way about. plus, i think it’s really really important and valuable for people not to have the obligation to reply (for months or even indefinitely). my worry is my responsibility to fix here

especially since the worry is like “what if i’m cringe and they are disgusted by me”, which is very clearly just self esteem and unfounded anxiety. i need to be more confident with being vulnerable and putting myself out there.

i wish you all good luck at avoiding your family this holiday season

it’s very silly but messaging people and not getting a reply right away can sometimes make me extremely self conscious and anxious. and then like 5% of my brain’s RAM is dedicated to worrying about it until i hear something back or decide to let it go. i need to work on that somehow, very unhealthy

lol i added the firefox delay blocker to my filers and it's so much faster. fuck google. if anyone's interested:www.youtube.com##+js(nano-stb, resolve(1), *, 0.001) or:www.youtube.com##+js(nano-stb, resolve(1), 5000, 0.001)

i should have no when she asked me to go out tonight

i was actually feeling okay today but now i’m just tired …. i coulda just been playing my visual novel in peace

guys i’m starting to think i have an anxiety problem

i am hilarious

bugcatcherjuli

i’ve been listening on loop all week at this point, i love this track and it is very important to me

i wanna be like xubi when i grow up

follow-up skeet options: 1. that’s exuberic on twitter and lllypad on another platform 2. (in some respects) 3. too bad it’s too late for that

i wish i could stay awake to prevent tomorrow from happening

o7 another one bites the dust

once again, i will refrain from commentary about hypocrisy that might imply an expectation to be better that i don't have

(especially when it comes to bell hooks lol)

i love this translation so much 😭 literally what does this even mean

this game is a lovely Nietzschean tale

Therapist: Qi Luo's teddy bear can't hurt you Qi Luo's teddy bear:

i just found out what SOMCON is, holy shit. fucking brilliant that School Days has integration for it, actually incredible

i opened up G-senjou no Maou for the first time just to see if it would run and i'm elated at the config options omg. idec what the story is like, this vn is brilliant

i'm pretty sure my favorite thing in the world is to feed my ass off on rein and type "mtd" after my team carries me

my team: sobbing and battered after begging me for 20 minutes to stop pinning on cooldown. a soft exhale dripping with fatigue escapes their lips. at least they can take solace in their avoid slot list; that should protect them from enduring such a harrowing experience once more. me: you're welcome.

incelcore cover of girl in red

still wearing it btw, who knows when i'll stop. comforting, sad.

it's not just that i'm depressed - been there, done that. it just all feels so much more hopeless now. at least in high school and college in the back of my mind i knew it was all temporary, but what am i supposed to do now that there is no end in sight? this is the rest of my life.

this is all life has to offer. i could repeat this routine until i die, easily. no big milestones, no big life shifts left. of course that's a little naive, and i could choose to make significant changes if i made certain choices, but none that meaningfully change the core loop.

and that's not to say the past was good, or that life shifts are inherently good. it's that i could at least pretend or dream that the paradigm shift would qualitatively improve my wellbeing. even though i never actually did that, and never had any expectation that things would improve, at least

the uncertainty left the door open for improvement to occur on accident. i should have ended it before knowing, it was not worth experiencing. i still can end it now before it's too late.

it brings me pleasure to think about someone reading this after i'm gone, trying to figure out what was wrong. i just really enjoy online personal records of peoples' history, it's cozy

my life is lacking vitality in a way that i don't feel like it ever has before. i feel trapped and stuck and i don't care about anything anymore, if i ever did. it's not just a fleeting feeling or situation, it's all consuming. the distractions are insufficient, i want out of this existence.

a bit dramatic there bud. chill out, it's nbd. you'll get over it and you won't do shit. it's pathetic and boring and pitiable to some extent, but you'll be fine.

if you're gonna whine about your sadness the least you can do is be a bit more creative with your expression of it. it's quaint and pedestrian and unbearable to slog through. even that's not right - 'slog' implies a density and weightiness that is severely lacking.

it would be a great relative success for my writing to evoke anything more than a spiritless sigh or listless eye roll at sentiments seen thousands of times before. but even that reaction implies an unwarranted level of emotional investment

these comments are less about the nominal public nature of the platform i'm on and more about how sickening i find my own creations

i would say i don't love the hog rework but honestly there's nothing they could do to make me happy. when i say i miss ancient hog, i really mean i miss ancient overwatch.

don't worry everyone, i have forever given up on being interesting in programming. it turns out i am far too stupid.

cya in a few weeks when i catch the bug again

the first two seasons of You 2018 are bad in an enjoyable way, and the third is just boring

delilah was the best character

which isn't saying much since they all sucked but yknow, give props where its due

sorry jay i don't know how to talk to you