i normally default to the latter but she was asking a lot so i prob had the space and time and interest to go into it more, but idk if i was comfy with it completely, esp given the environment. not to mention the type of question being asked was very like analytic philosophy

type for lack of a better description. "what about backyard chicken" type idk bleh boring. also like i get the feeling i should have maybe just been even more surface level bc later she was talking about how she drives electric car and is saving the earth so 🙄

i had a weird convo with holly yesterday about veganism and idk it was hard bc i didnt know if to just be completely honest and have a ton of explaining to do or just give surface level answers

ive been thinking about the morality of secrets, specifically in close relationships bc of something isaiah brought up yesterday telling a story about finding lewds in someones camera roll and causing a breakup, wanna come back to at some point and flesh things out more

universal legibility and language diversity are really interesting concepts to play with, especially after reading a bit of james c scott. not to even mention to nice quip at the end. and these criticisms apply to any universal language, not just esperanto

i also think the point that the exercise will always be euro-centric and colonialist is absolutely true and its fascinating that i missed that before. really interesting to see how we can reproduce the worst aspects of society while intending good.

googled some stuff about esperanto this morn bc i was interested and then looked on twitter for linguist perspectives and this is a really good critique

found someones cute pfp but it was low qual so i remade :3

Restorative justice, lots of things. And honestly like it’s not a huge interest of mine even tho I acknowledge that current prisons are giga fucked and I’m very sympathetic to a world without them. BUT COME ON DUDE I fucking hate it here

It’s not like that tweet even got ratiod either like I think progressive libs are just co-opting it T-T it became super popular and snappy to say bc BLM and now everything is muddled, rip

BRO ahehbfnfjdjdjbd this is why it’s so hard to find actual resources on this shit. Like personally rn I can’t say confidently I’m a prison abolitionist bc I don’t know what my positive vision would look like, need to explore more critical criminology, transformative justice,

Bro this guy in my class is so conservative and so shit lmfao every time he talks. And it’s annoying bc it’s not like the typical conservative shitter it’s more like William Buckley type and it’s just dressed up more. He speaks up a lot but it’s always in little chunks

So it was hard to tell at first, but there were plenty of really cringe phrases statements words etc. dominates convos but in a weirdly passive way? Idk frustrating to deal with and shuts stuff down imo

trying to argue the same thing. With all this being said, i think there are still strong criticisms you can make about hegemony within a field, even if that hegemony is ostensibly progressive. but i think that criticism has to be very focused and precise, and the examples can't

come from common usage where most people are likely not to have fully understood what is actually being said.

also butler is contrasted with foucault a lot and criticized for basically not doing the same thing? like not exactly but it seems really weird. a geneology of gender would be worthless, everyone knows its culturally and historically contingent, that wouldnt do anything to

dislodge the affinity for essentialism people feel and would not get to the metaphysical nature of things. there needs to be theory done in this way that can't just be handled like punishment for example idk

that being said the article did cite someone i think will be more convincing, or at least seems a lot more promising. Sedgwick, Paranoid Reading and Reparative Reading. weak theory and strong theory, bad surprises. i think i much more partial to these ideas, even if Schep is

... and like... yeah? and thats ok lol. like i know they try to have a sympathetic example in the article of a trans woman but idk seems like cope to me tbh. ofc i have to be careful bc personal agenderish tendencies but like im sorry to say that performativity is

"cultural imperialism" is just fucking hilarious. idk i get big "veganism is anti-indigenous" vibes from this. like there are some important critiques to be made of veganism and or performativity when approaching marginalized groups politically and rhetorically, but that

doesnt mean its just like haha welp throw it all in the trash bc some marginalized people don't like it. like there are absolutely queerphobic trans people and i dont think this is really very useful for doing this shit lol

just read an article critiquing Butler's gender theory by Dennis Schep ("The Limits of Performativity: A Critique of Hegemony in Gender Theory") and idk how to think about it yet but i have some feelings

first of all ill be clear that i dont have enough background understanding in structuralism or psychoanalysis to fully grasp butler, but it doesn't seem required for this article. at the same time tho, i am worried by that bc it might be simplifying.

basically the whole argument is basically just "To say that identity is performative may be liberatory for some, but pose an insurmountable conflict for others, particularly those who perceive their identity to be structured by some form of essentialist determination"

i was correct about my prediction of stress break out. lets goooo i was correct / what the fuck this sucks

especially bc so many of the treaties and shit were coerced and shitty and there was no real self determination allowed by Muscogee, but yknow that doesnt just give them carte blanche to be racist lmao

also its weird? bc a lot of freedmen descendents dont even want citizenship for like resources? everyone ive seen is like pretty well off so thats an interesting dynamnic too fuck man

should be granted citizenship, but idk how i feel about the US federal involvement bc of history and all sorts of other stuff, and like ugh its still annoying bc its still working within in colonially constructed blood quantum shit and gah its very tricky but very interesting

really hard to work out the morality of reforms when its like welllll when it comes down to it i disagree with everything going on here pretty fundamentally but idk, very hard to think about when groups have been oppressed so heavily - really interesting to hear interviews

with Muscogee citizens and interviews with descendents of freedmen - i still dont know if im going to be writing in opposition or in favor of the bill but yeah idk very slippery tricky and interesting

had to research a bill for class and actually found something that is really interesting that i dont know how to feel about yet

basically Muscogee (nation? tribe? idk correct terms) used to own slaves that travelled with them along the trail of tears and when slavery was abolished freedmen were allowed Muscogee citizenship. but then in more recent constitution they have excluded descendents of

Muscogee freedmen and been very hard on heredity and stuff. this federal bill is trying to get Muscogee to allow freedmen descendents citizenship, but with the approach of witholding funds and severing ties. so like i think where im at rn is that freedmen descendents

I wanna do that thing where you run away and “start over” but actually never meet new people

Do I know that that idea is deeply flawed and deeply privileged and deeply whiny? Yes :) demand the impossible etc etc

PLEASE STOP USING “NORMAL” jfc read flowerbomb read Mary Nardini Gang read Aph Ko/Syl Ko read literally any anti-assimilationist shit, even libs get this stuff right

It’s just something that should change if people are going to accept lefty conclusions with good reasoning patterns. However I think there’s a big lack of lefty public figures that frankly have the theoretical background to understand much less explain why. (Imaging Vaush or

Hasan talking about how “the individual is an ideological construction” and building up their first principles lol)

Was watching Rick Roderick lectures and holy shit the framing of Utilitarianism and deontology as bourgeois morality is actually so fucking interesting and compelling. The reduction to the individualized atomized person doing actions independent from class analysis or power dynam

Always good to remember that politics come prior to ethics

Really hard to remember when every issue framed through the liberal lens, even by radicals. By adopting the wrong framework to explain the wrongness, they come off looking dogmatic about their conclusion. Not saying I’m better, because it’s nearly impossible for me to do too.

Why should I do this or care. I can have moments of joy but I don’t really feel fulfilled. Which again is maybe ok, but then why keep going?

If life is just going to be so miserable and while I’m here I’m burdening others, then fuck it dude I should just leave. I’m not having fun, I want to head out.

And I don’t think it’s immoral to *commit not alive*, but again I’m a coward. So I’m just kinda stuck.

I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to change anything, I don’t want to keep going. I’m sure there are plenty of experiences out there to be had, some of them even positive, but I’m not interested.

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty “life is pointless” arc. Prob due to doing classes and thinking future. Which I mean sure life has no point is true, but also usually it’s about meaning we give it. But I’m actually not very interested in giving anything meaning.

Like I can’t explain how desperately I do not want to enter the labor market. But it’s other things too, like school sucks, I don’t want to create or produce anything, I have no real passions or interests that I’d like to pursue. I’m all trapped in this productivist shithole

The one thing I do kinda enjoy is learning and reading and sometimes discussing it, but yeah idk. Even that it’s like for what purpose? I’m too much of a coward to do anything with the beliefs I’m gathering. And that’s ok to be a coward I think, it’s just it again leads back to

Rather than get swept up by something and get motivated. Also prob helps I don’t have a nearby sexual relationship.

Anyway, it’s not really a problem, just something I noticed. I’m pretty cool w it actually, it can be messy and gross and not feeling weird after watching questionable porn is nice and so is not getting hard in public lol