motivational contexts come prior to rationality, and imo your motivations are overdetermined, and the conditionally applied rationality is unnecessary, and i would argue a hinderance on both your analysis and your orientation in the world
here's a passage i've been thinking about, but mostly for its inapplicability. you say your use of the term is idiosyncratic, and ofc i agree, but i don't think your motivations are idiosyncratic, or detached/isolated at all, and are fairly definite, consistent, and are continuously situated
crucially, it doesn't even matter if the points you are raising are true or not. it's about where your attention is, and where you choose to maintain and emphasize.