sorry i was kinda annoying in vc today

and irl w kasey

and my texting has been dry

meh i thimk mondays sad

i didn't know it was possible but jay somehow got a more fake job

shame that dreary blacksky deleted this post

i've missed you

i'm smirking and there's pain in my eyes

wtf daylight savings jumpscare

british columbia has their shit together we gotta stop with this foolishness

there are so many things i wanna do and experience

somehow those are distinct, like active and passive, and i want them both

oh oh and i didn't take rat dot mom down today despite tempting rate limits, which is pretty cool

somewhat related its wild that they were considering an applywrites limit of 10 at one point lmfao github.com/bluesky-soci...

life has been notably light on music this week, this will likely continue at least into the next

i'll be back for u soon, don't fret

oki a little playtime before bed yay

i don't regret taking distance from everyone when i did, i found a new equilibrium and the lack of obligation to promptly return was necessary

lowkey dewey is probably the guy to read rn

that hour and a half nap had me more conked out than anything i can recall in recent memory, and even now that im awake im feeling like going back to sleep

idk how sustainable it is to have these heroic 9 hour call marathons every week but they mean a lot to me so i don't feel like stopping for the foreseeable future

somewhat nervous at the prospect of increased contact beyond that, since the existing structure is working fairly well for me. but of course i feel the allure too

idk, i don't want to make the same mistakes again and i can tell that i am (we are) cautious enough that it won't be a complete repetition, but it still has the potential to go wrong in similar ways

please pace yourself, please communicate

i'm crying idk it's just hard. precarious and confusing and dangerous but something worth the risk

i'm ready to go on dates with you but i don't know if i'm ready to date you. and i don't see a place where the responsibility is desirable. it isn't clear to me if that aversion is generic commitment issues or if it is something more worthwhile that i ought maintain.

i'm leaning towards the latter and that this is one of those things i should communicate about and remain steadfast and stubborn with until i'm more certain it wouldnt be a mistake to do otherwise. ultimately i don't think much of the upside behaviors change too much either way, but the downsides do

whatever i have going on with annie is dating-lite but doesn't confer the same pressure and expectations. i think i'd like similar with danii. i like that both of those relationships would be more private and dyadic and would have the room to become whatever they need to be

as long as we allow it to unfold itself, and don't impose too determinate a structure on it before it has the opportunity to do so, i think it should be fine

okay but counterpoint

say u don't mean that 🥺

solipsism defeated by the second law thermodynamics

better to ask forgiveness than permission, and better still to not ask at all

like yea sure we talk about how it's offensive to use locations as stand-in for a random place for comedic effect, but whenever wisconsin is that location i just think "wisco mentioned 🥳"

when the garage is wet the colors are much nicer

could i be your cute transgender rival

this feature has its benefits, this made my day

hm i think it'd be cool to get olivia's number and hang out with her sometime, not entirely sure how i'd broach that naturally

i should probably mute dahlia while she does philosophy undergrad classes, its too hard to watch

yay that was a gratifying night, i listened to music and played coding time

it's called artistic intent anna

i totally havent used cheatengine before to get around this

this is one of the many ways kasey refers to me

not saying i'm your type of guy or anything..

obviously this is a reply to em, but not in a way i felt i could appropriately reply to any of her posts with. id have more to say directly but it's also not so much my place, and it's all more personal anyway

there's long been this exciting archival ideal to me of either having a linear display of all messages i send (dms, diary, posts, voice memos, etc) or having a nice way to connect one archive type to the next based on the time. even though im not so obsessed with that stuff anymore it still excites.