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i don’t have many fond memories of my exes, but i do have mostly positive evaluations of all of them

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to be clear the lack of fond memories are largely due to my perspective being soured by the evaluation of my past self as pretty miserable. the subjective experience of myself at the time is mostly irrelevant

why is my computer running like shit? oh, windows defender decided to start scanning every file in the background, nice.
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Scan lasted 50 minutes 16 seconds (before cancelled) 845679 files scanned murder

yeah that’s the meme :^)

dw this christmas im asking for a pine phone

i think i had one iphone before my current, and i’ve had it for 3 years. both were christmas gifts from parents


your inbox: 481 items 🙂

i feel fucking disgusting. winter is a sensitive and reflective time for me. i must have been better off a year ago, but that can’t be right. my retrospective evaluation is warped. i have never been happy, and i never will be (hopefully).
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yap yap yap shitta
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welcome back to the true dreary dot bsky dot social fans

i knew you’d know how to do this lmao

i’m temporally distorted
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and scared to read

i tried to do this with my first linux install and failed miraculously
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idk if i have a ton of insight but my perspective is basically that your “functional attraction” model was accurate for these relationships, in the sense that they weren’t oriented around any interpersonal factors, but rather the role they were filling
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i can’t speak to your past (maybe you needed some unsavory roles at the time), but i definitely feel that those functions wouldn’t benefit you any longer

emma was a childhood friend of mine. her mom owned a children’s theatre company and we did a ton of plays together. we were really flirty and spent a bunch of time together, even sometimes outside theatre. until one day i decided that the relationship was too much for me and stopped signing up.
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they reached out a bunch to try to get me to come back, but i refused every time. in high school i bumped into her mom while i was at my job, and she gave me emma’s number. at this point, we were both in monog relationships so nothing came of it.
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in college, i was kind of on a kick of being more social and wanting to meet more people (this is because jay left, but that’s a story for another day). so i started joining clubs, attending events (like the one i met kasey at), and going on tinder/bumble dates, etc. this is also the time period i
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met prxr btw. anyway, i text emma out of nowhere and we go out for drinks one night, then go back to her place and kiss but don’t mess around too much. we keep talking and hanging out, but she’s still way more into me than i am into her - i’m kinda just going with the flow and don’t mind one way or
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the other, but to her this is like the culmination of childhood crush that she got stuck on. during the same time period, i’m hanging out with kasey and i talk about emma sometimes with how bored i am, especially now that i can contrast to kasey who i find to be a lot more intellectually fulfilling.
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kasey really doesn’t like this, lol. she gets brainworms that emma is some S-Tier bishoujo girl competing for her attention and romantic prospects. in my autistic mind, i had made it super clear that i was nonmonog and that i was into kasey, and i was just talking about my life -
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and if anything it was a compliment. kasey can probably fill in gaps better of how she felt at the time, i’m sure im butchering it (these were very hard emotions for me to read at the time). to wrap up tho, emma and i kept chatting for a while, got to third base, and fizzled out.
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i reached out again over a year ago and we tried to talk but i think she realized this time that we have nothing in common and i’m kind of an asshole, so she stopped replying. happy to disillusion her and solve her brain worms about me too meow.
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the above summary leaves out some juicy lore, like the time emma got brain worms about kasey


i thought i’d get an email when they approved it but nah lol, so this has been available for a bit accly

rina i think im going to need your help… can you forcefem me pls 🥺


sheyan vibe is elusive and confusing to me still, but i’m circling in on it

it’s honestly very faint, i wonder if i could hear them more often if i wasn’t always listening to music or watching youtube

wait holy shit they’re going for round 2

i can hear my upstairs neighbors having sex and damn they are really having a good time
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he is panting very hard and she is moaning so high pitched it’s basically squeaking

does it make sense that the api touchers crowd annoys and embarrasses me despite the median user being my 3x dev


i just burst out laughing this is the most moe thing imaginable


i forgot this was julis thread at one point 😭😭😭

i will do anything for the bit also it was clear from context that neither of us were going to answer earnestly in words shizu can understand: it’s just banta mate

clearly trustworthy, alright