i don’t mind the words, and i appreciate the engagement 🙂 unfortunately my rejoinder is going to be same old and tired one i always use (mostly in deactivated prxr threads): i am simply not individually powerful enough to meaningfully overcome my conditions, and its not as simple as choosing better.
eh. character is pretty malleable to circumstance, and my circumstances are pretty grim. (all the standard caveats that this is not a judgement about my position relative to my peers, this is about my (our) historical positionally)
one of the downsides of my posting devolving into flat, banal statements with wide interpretation is that i receive a bunch of pontificating replies i don’t care about
Those who talk of revolution without explicit referent to everyday life or understanding what is subversive about love, such people have a corpse in their mouths.
my emotions don’t really make sense right now. i keep catching myself at the edge of saying things i don’t believe, so i can express anything at all. i’m pretty sad about nothing in particular and im frustrated that i have nothing worth saying any longer. all my statements are flat and hollow.
i want to read again. i feel powerless and uninspired and anhedonic. i’m not even especially sad, and that makes it worse actually. i’m all numb, and nothing works. cutting myself this weekend was uneventful and not noteworthy. time marches onward.