they were weak and i’m more pure and built different etc. , i say, shoveling the most processed concoction of flour injected with an ungodly amount of preservatives into my mouth
this was a mistake of a public conversation avenue lol
anyway ur cool and being /gen it’s actually quite cozy (except for the onerous prep and cleanup [ableist])
im just sitting here sipping tea and listening to 7 year old lofi while dispassionately playing my japanese porn slideshow (and its slowly curing my depression)
they should do a study where they give people a standardized test from their major 10 years after graduating and see if the scores correlate with earnings (or GPA for that matter)
and then i look up better ways to do things and all i get back is "nah its just like that" and i'm convinced its just an elaborate psyop to humiliate me at this point
pompous language aside, this concretely means:
- isolating myself
- listening to sadboi trap
- playing video games
- immersing myself in projects
- neglecting the women in my life
at my core i'm the same person i was 8 years ago
the egyptianism of my desires is disappointing, and they are locked in place by being indexed to my idea of freedom.
since i will never escape the material conditions that cause me to strive for freedom in this lifetime, i will not have the opportunity to overcome this inadequate instantiation of an inadequate concept.
it's notable how in my more ornery states of being, when given a modicum of room to breathe, i slot myself quite cleanly into a comfortable masculinist mode