i'm just kidding it's actually extremely good - i'm just tired from work

considered the low hanging fruit of being needlessly verbose in postone's jargon but i resisted the urge (i'm eepy)

moishe stfu about newtonian time i wanna go hang out with disabled anime girls

the not-so-niche intersection of marxologists and visual novel players

i love this song because i’m so violently ambivalent about it. i wouldn’t want it to be anything else.

it’s a fantastic expression of a compensatory fantasy inspiring hope in someone so clearly barely hanging on. it’s delightful to think about the despair implied by this message for the atheist

i’ve appreciated BAAO since high school for this reason - their music sounds angry, frustrated, downtrodden, but they preach a message of hope and love. however, if you lack their faith then it loops back around to be depressing again.

each moment is significant in the dialectic, and the synthesis does not summarize the whole.

their new shit sucks tho lmao

saw a tweet and immediately stopped what i was doing to type 2000 words to myself about how much i hated it

the tweets in question

the semantic meaning of lyrics are usually far less significant than their sonic contribution. the voice is just one instrument among many, and music that treats it as such is usually far more compelling.

postone's chapter on abstract time was the one's that stuck with me the least on my first reading, so i'm excited to revisit it now that i can appreciate it more viscerally.

i’ve always found it very compelling to look at how people use software without the opportunity to explain why. the legibilizing is always ad hoc, i want to explore the decontextualized usage.

that’s kinda jargon heavy and dense so for example: MAL/anilist have the ability to add comments and ratings to entries, but youtube doesn’t have the same feature when adding videos to playlists. this might seem like a drawback, and in many ways it might be relative to certain goals, but i feel like

there’s so much depth by not providing that ability. it leaves open questions like “why did they (or I) add this here?”, “how does this fit into the larger context of their playlist organization?”, “what was striking/warranting attention?”.

and it’s not that ambiguity itself is alluring - it’s that an explanation would prematurely foreclose curiosity, and is always partial. don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty to analyze with what people explicitly state about their motivations (hi freud), but in some sense that is a separate enterprise.

and what interests me is the way platforms and protocols are designed and how this influences our engagement with them. AniList toward lexical legibility, YT playlists towards metaphorical inclusion/evaluation.

(in this context, with this dimension). as someone who struggles immensely to put their impressions into language, i appreciate the lacking feature set. even with the limited options i do have (title, description), i can get carried away. and of course im never satisfied with the result - there is

an inherent gap upon translation. which is manageable or at least tolerable at times, but.. idk there’s a reason i don’t leave comments on my highest rated media

everything i could say would be nauseatingly quaint or horrifically inadequate. i listen to others talk about the aspects they enjoyed and i roll my eyes, even though i may agree with the individual judgement. even mentioning this is an inapt use of attention in the face of what could be discussed,

but articulation would shred the delicate flower of its petals, leaving a bald stalk in its wake. you think you are extracting the the most significant core, but in your haste and carelessness you have mangled your subject.

related: the mood evoked by a philosophical text is not merely a matter of style or taste. presentation is partially constitutive of substance, and is a great indicator of congruence.

postliterate on Ceika is good on this subject. inoffense and shallow is a pathetic failure when it comes to thinkers with bite and rigor.

where are my thoughts going lol, i’m all over the place. no thesis, no bitches, just sleep deprived brain going sicko mode

“distract me from ‘my mood, ah-ha’” is more plausible than ‘the rude at heart’ but genius lyrics’ UI is evil and wants to kill me so i refuse to use it

going outside + driving again is so fucking dismal. i don’t want to go back to work :(

the last 4 days were a breath of fresh air and now it’s gone

all roads lead back to Waifu Wednesdays eventually

the people demand another fusq EP

having fun making custom folder icons :3

!foryou

i have problems

i wish i was a pretty girl

that time i was reincarnated as extra emily (but i didn’t have to apply my own make up)

in case there was any confusion, in this fantasy i do NOT acquire her personality (i'd kms)

i wish she would record hours and hours of her just talking. i love her voice, i love her thoughts. for the people i admire, i honestly think that’s my ideal relationship. just consuming their ideas one-sidedly on my own terms.

it feels like the appropriate distance, both for my sake* and for theirs *i agree it’s potentially endorsing vices of mine of anxiety and avoidance rather than dealing with them, but in context im still unconvinced these are deficiencies in my character and not deficiencies in social expectation

i dont understand why people want to maintain moralistic concepts when it’s clearly so cumbersome. just say that this is violence and that you’re okay with it. you don’t even have to jump to “justifying” it, since that already assumes violence is inherently or even primarily evil by default.

maybe i just have philosophy autism but its kinda frustrating to see people so committed not advancing their evaluative model of the world. congrats your tribalism led you to cooler moral intuitions, but now its time to update your framework to not be nonsensical (hopefully drop the whole paradigm)

on the other hand, if you’re self-consciously engaging in rhetoric then that’s a political judgement of efficacy (though one i think you’ve made a poor choice with by short-term appealing to dominant values that undermine your long-term goals),

or if you’re drawing attention to the disparity in severity of violence between oppressors and oppressed then that’s chill too, but i don’t think that message was intended or received

this is the closest i’ve seen to a full throated endorsement (that is to say, not at all). baby steps? jk we’re doomed

oh no don’t be sorry at all. this wasn’t targeted at you, i had a few people i was messaging that i felt this way about. plus, i think it’s really really important and valuable for people not to have the obligation to reply (for months or even indefinitely). my worry is my responsibility to fix here

especially since the worry is like “what if i’m cringe and they are disgusted by me”, which is very clearly just self esteem and unfounded anxiety. i need to be more confident with being vulnerable and putting myself out there.

i wish you all good luck at avoiding your family this holiday season

it’s very silly but messaging people and not getting a reply right away can sometimes make me extremely self conscious and anxious. and then like 5% of my brain’s RAM is dedicated to worrying about it until i hear something back or decide to let it go. i need to work on that somehow, very unhealthy