like i am a little uncomfy at times about having a penis but i def dont think to the extent where i would want it removed or to try and supress it to the point of pain. like yeah its weird and i dont love it but ive got it so im gonna vibe with whats comfy. only reason im looking

https://youtu.be/OthVYNXOSsY this is really good brief explainer on this thing that i think does a really good job of not discrediting the importance of identity politics - idk about the attachment of "postmodern" label esp bc all quotes are kinda coming from marxists

but overall very very good

she’s been in parking lot for some unexplained reason, I get so happy to see her I go to hug her, then I realize wait this isn’t a real hug, I wake up hugging myself, it takes me a few seconds and then I remember I’m not in a relationship with gail anymore either lol.

Idk how I’m able to convince myself so well in dreams like wtf

Dreamt about waiting for gail to be done with something so i could see her, at glacier edge, but taking forever, I get frustrated it’s taking so long so I leave and go to car in parking lot, find mom driving g cart with student, explain frustration, gail comes up as apparently

i brushed my hair after my shower before going out and i felt really pretty about it, even if other stuff is weird rn i have that

I hate all this neutrality devils advocate shit in classrooms fuck you take a position this is bullshit lmfao

Honestly a result of teaching being a job but it fucks with so much

And god I hate conservative students they literally have 0 input holy shit

Someone in class today is wearing the cutest shit that’s giving me so much euphoria envy shit Pink sweater - textured, not turtle neck but some bigger looser neck thing idk, slits on the base sides that girls have Black leggings White girls boots - not clunky very slim

Messy hair tied in the back but front still hanging around

Genuinely adorable I want to look like them so bad

Everyone confuses meta ethics and normative ethics and it makes discussions worthless

Lmao my teacher introduced Hume as a “pudgy guy” or something

How to self harm without leaving lasting damage that I’ll be annoyed with later

Gonna find a rubber band

I could probably have time to bleed out for a few days before anyone came to check

Can I just die for a little bit

Desperately want to stay home for a week to figure my shit out

I went for a walk/run 5 mi feel like fucking shit

I’m so fucking erratic I wanna die lol

Today was the strongest inclinations I’ve had to purge lol I still really want to this fucking sucks I hate myself so much

haha binge binge binge binge binge binge binge hahahahahhahahaha

disgusting fucking ugly i hate myself

Idk why I’m feeling really intense discomfort, it really sucks.

Think it’s a combo of anti social vibes and just really really not feeling like being perceived that way today

Speaking of gender expression, I sure hate mine today :D

"Gender expression is an important part of every person's identity, and it's inborn - not something we choose." from Jacob's New Dress. bruh nah can we stop with this shit how would that even work. ah yes before i was introduced to culturally contingent modes of gender expression

i knew what was right for me lol fuck off. also! its not necessarily important to every person's identity wtfffff stoppppp

listening to the audiobook for start here, start now by liz kleinrock and its mostly really good but fuck man youth liberation again is a huge missing thing i feel. like often its so so so mcuh better than anything else ive read but now were at a section where shes saying things

like "oh its so unfortunate that kids dont tell there parents what theyre doing during class" and like BRUH ??? youre not obligated to communicate with them?? thats so weird dude. and then further talking about going around students and telling parents and its like oh my god what

like what the fuck dude. she literally had to remind the audience about not breaking student rights which are never invoked because theyre so miniscule like dude no dude please what the fuck thats so fucked

finishing prison by any other name, still budget foucault, but has some good recent data, desperately desperately needs youth liberation frame

like lmao this is infuriating

its just too apparent what the target audience is

also like they cite great people talking about the state explicitly but just gloss over it lmao

why are you like this

lmao they keep saying things like "challenging capitalism" or "this problem won't go away until capitalism is destroyed" and then just advocate social democracy

*doesn't mention hierarchy all book and in fact often appeals to hierarchy or violations of hierarchy as injustice multiple times* oh now its a problem guys i wont tell you how tho teehee lmao

spicy lib theory is like: alright what if we throw 20 different theoretical frameworks together that are generally in the same direction what could go wrong?

"ive heard some woke people use this i should too, what do you mean its a problem if i dont understand it?"

Absurd contradictory and rapidly shifting emotional states tn

Why did I go to talk despite feel meh? Enjoy night time city walk? Hyper from good song? Gender shit? Sexuality shit? Feel good about appearance for no reason? But also disgusting about? Unbelievably tired? Idk I hate it

I just wanna have a little break time I feel overwhelmed and sad

“UW Madison recognizes the inherent sovereignty of the Ho-Chunk nation” bruh what I’m so confused how does that work what does that do. I mean good that you talk about colonialism before talks but what materially does that do

90% old white ppl btw

I hate photographers

https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/julian-langer-becoming-animal-my-feral-individualism beautiful and interesting writing, political social perspective i disagree but anticiv anarchoindividualists have their shit worked out when it comes to personal fulfillment

8485 purgatory +oakscreen (slowed + reverb) loop loop loop loop yeah i know zoomer depression cope dont care B) https://youtu.be/TS77SOm1yao