THE REPORTING LEAD IS MERGING A TEMP GLOBAL TO A LOCAL VARIABLE BLAWG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i might stay late tonight (if i can muster the energy)

oh oh i know, let's irrecoverably corrupt the data we gather

that was an annoying adventure but i think we're fixed now ugh

ANDROID IS CUCKED

not so articulate sorry

ur just progged and work was tired, but overall you feel fine and it's supa chill

oh yea right

sometimes i think it's okay for me to whine unqualifiedly, i can tend to suppress my own emotions or over-rationalise them and get myself into trouble, it often ends in inexpressive frustration because i lock myself into being too careful

its just an ugly look because it gives the appearance of entitlement and ignorance of my own inadequacies, but i don't think those are skills i need to more intimately develop right now

i bought my pc at a relatively fortuitous time

tune in next week for more willow gossip hour

i don't particularly enjoy annas newer personality

i would feel bad about muen leaving without getting a proper goodbye but she's kind of a terrible communicator and not actually very interested in me nowadays

it's this strange thing where i feel like im obligated to be the punching bag but don't really enjoy that dynamic too much anymore, it feels kinda outdated

and i get she's upset we didn't talk for a while and that i probably could have been a better friend but also it's kinda unclear how much i really enjoyed her company anymore, i mean i was dodging her for a while for a reason

it was nice to do things with her and be invited to things, she was pleasant enough company in small and intermittent doses

it really made more sense as a relationship prior to her getting a new job. and yknow i think i have an appreciation now for relationships of circumstance that persist beyond their initial reason for being, but that does mean they'll maintain the same significance or weightiness

still, it's unfortunate not to have the chance to extend the marginal effort to see her off properly. or rather, to have the chance but to have it ruined for such underwhelming reasons

i don't really feel like using this account so much

wouldn't it be nice if everything in the world had a clean and stable teleology and also profilicity as an identity technology wasn't so confounding

i think it is important for me to maintain two discords for now even tho i use the other one so often

and it's important that i keep messaging kasey there even though the other one would work just as well

it's one of those things that doesn't integrate nicely with some other sentiments ive accumulated over the years but i think it's an instance where practice beats theory

very crudely, it's important i maintain a public-private identity bifurcation. kasey is disjoint from all my other relationships and also basically the only person in my life i can speak freely with. which like yea, i wish it was otherwise but ive learned that brute forcing it doesn't work

and i don't mean to imply a devaluation of any of my other relationships or put kasey on a pedestal because it's honestly not like i feel especially affectionate towards her right now or anything

idk it's a strange time for me but my footing is sturdier than before, even if i'm still rather ungraceful

2nd bed was an awesome invention

thank you god

i don't think i fw panchiko all that much

any test that gives me and u the same result has to be broken

at least it didn't try to pitch you existentialism

what if i go to a concert

bulky!

my body type looks very different in sweatshirt and out

snow driving o.o

i should get new tires :/

not nostalgia at all, just soft and pleasant

lower expectations i should have encouraged the first time

i feel less disgust and more sadness when people talk about going to claude for emotional support

although if other people are as poor at being comforting as i am, i understand (sorry)

struggling to make two eyes with seven eyes

i like telling kasey about things ive done i know she'll hate and then saying "pretty cool right"

gnu go has hands :sob:

the last decade has been learning and unlearning "let's get lost"

this is more of a prophetic statement of hope and directionality, because im still in the middle of unlearning

pace yourself

mismatched tone mismatched time

i know it's ugly and i should acclimate but it's unfulfilling

my expectations aren't wrong my desires are