I miss her. A lot. And at the same time I realize now just how dysfunctional the relationship was. I’m confused and hurting. I know for a fact now that there was nothing that could’ve saved things.

The emotions around it are trash too. I’m trying to feel, because I know it’s unhealthy not to, but it’s just not that simple. It sucks that I don’t have anyone else I respect that I can bounce my ideas and feelings off of. Building something like that up again will be awful.

This break up is really weird. Four and a half years is just so much to try and reflect on, especially because it’s like a fourth of my life. There were a lot of mistakes and plenty to feel bad about. Trying to think about the progression of things is just really hard.

its so boring to be sad but not being able to depression spiral like i used to, like whats the point

acquired too many positive coping mechanisms for it to feel cathartic, just dull hole of pain this isn't fun at all lmao

got dumped ama

"All we do when we expand gender categories is to create new more nuanced channels through which power can operate. We do not liberate ourselves, we ensnare ourselves in countless and even more nuanced and powerful norms. Each one a new chain."

"Identity is not a truth but a social and discursive construction, we can then realize that the creation of these new identities is not the sudden discovery of previously unknown lived experience, but rather the creation of new terms upon which we can be constituted."

i'm so exhausted :(

“It’s just how the world works” “Builds character” “You just have to” Such fucking shit arguments

It’s fucking pathetic that other humans have convinced each other that society should work like this. Who gives a fuck about this world as long as Heaven Ghost Daddy is there after we die lmaooo

Talking with people with dogshit understanding of the world make me want to give up; unironically considering becoming an anarchist

First time in a long time I have genuinely considered planned suicide. Fuck this world. I don’t want to live if these are my options

I hate that people act like I’m some whiny privileged bitch for not wanting to live in capitalist hellscape world

Especially when it’s someone that seems progressive and like they should know better. Philosophically ungrounded and brainwashed into thinking this is how the world should work.

Numb

either i have no fucking clue how to play the game or my team is inting their goddamn brains out

holy fuckkkkkk soo frustrated god i hate

fuck descartes and his cringe meditations

Really weird habit of “making up for lost time” after social events, disruptive but feels so important

Anxiety is so shit, I wish I had a better way to understand so I could deal with myself. It’s so draining.

Eating enough is confusing and hard

I really love androgynous depictions, so cute 🥰

I fucking hate group projects fuck

holy shit im cringing so hard i got put in a group with all the cishet white boys to talk about modern day equivalents of Assemblywomen, fuck dude

Got my sleep schedule back, but forgot about my anniversary yesterday. :/ I don’t understand why she cares so much.

why can i only learn from watching/listening to videos

staying up to fix my sleep schedule, im so behind for classwork

A place to vent

age1e6nr3rx93x4tu8qcqc5tvxkffg286jgv4lgpawz7kygw6suzwp4qmh8vx4

i don't see why not

this date thing goes back pretty far