nvm im back to hating python

guy delivering pizza overheard the following convo as i exited kasey’s apartment: “bye bye pup” “meow” “that’s not a pup noise…”

i accidentally overcaffeinated and im buzzing adhd style

doesn't take much

her ass was defi using arrow keys a week ago but im no snitch

kasey looking at her car payment each month

"Within the credit relationship, it is not the case that money is transcended in man, but that man himself is turned into money, or money is incorporated in him. Human individuality, human morality itself, has become both an object of commerce and the material in which money exists.

Instead of money, or paper, it is my own personal existence, my flesh and blood, my social virtue and importance, which constitutes the material, corporeal form of the spirit of money. Credit no longer resolves the value of money into money but into human flesh and the human heart.

Such is the extent to which all progress and all inconsistencies within a false system are extreme retrogression and the extreme consequence of vileness."

oh my god i can already tell this shit is going to bang so hard

"adorno did not establish the new reading. he provided the theoretical impetus and inspiration for it."

i napped btw yay

kasey halfway through a critical on-call issue: hold up one second i need to continue flug-posting in my exes replies

i should probably nap

honestly im perfectly content with wilma, i don't feel like upgrading to zara

it's ok on zen but i wish the new pop-ups and menus respected theme better, and a some software updates broke things

this sounds like a 2029 problem tbh, i'll figure it out then

my brain is rate limited

time to log into prod to see if i broke anything yday

WHEW

oops misinterpreted

not everything about me

“i wonder what’s going on with despera these days” “ah, same old”

i’m bustin out of this hole breakin out and breakin in i’ve got an evil soul rippin shit with a wicked grin i know my enemies everyone who’s not like me ya, what the fuck is sense of pride shut yer mouths and live yer lives

youtu.be/GCr8on8ta5Q youtu.be/cy5apuLhOoc youtu.be/JizI80qZFY0

despite its appearance, it’s important to me that i wouldn’t describe my state last night as reflective, it was rather emoting through the formulation of words, which was pretty clarifying and nice

where i direct my gaze is significant, looking out is better than looking in or looking back right now

violet evergsrden was not that good and my impression only got worse over time

picking the appropriate medium for thought is a difficult skill but i think i’m getting better at choosing

as in form, not necessarily venue. one battle at a time u know

blehh’s unenthusiasm is genuinely thrilling

these new drops have been incredible

i can’t think of anything i’d less rather do

the last visit was valuable in its own way but nah no thanks not again

i hate proximity management and i am very bad at it

i don’t know what i want and i don’t know what’s good for me but it probably has something to do with how close i am to you

it frustrates me that my distance from others allows them to grow in ways i have no influence on. that sounds like an impulse to dictate and control and i’m unsure if there’s a read that gets me out of that conclusion, or if it’s even a bad thing

“i miss you” isn’t something that’s felt worth saying for several months at this point. it just doesn’t fit in my mouth correctly. in a way where i might spit it out to expel it, but i wont be satisfied with myself

i’m not interested in some deep connection, i’m not interested in some fortuitous path-crossing, i’m not interested in casual conversation, i’m not interested in the delicate and hallowed intermittence at arms-length

i know something i appreciate right now is something akin to “life partnership”, if you’ll allow the phrase. the perfunctory, unremarkable everyday, the soft and persistent presence, the comfortable familiarity, the minor missteps and reorientations, the mutual support through turbulence

i won’t say that hailey and i have this, but the time there was emblematic of a type of cohabitation that i have in mind that i very much appreciate, and that is very difficult for me to emulate

i mention hailey rather than the more obvious kasey because i think it brings the point into focus much more

comfortably forlorn, you know the drill. it ain’t that bad and i’m not disturbed, it’ll work out

i’ll see you soon juliet