idk it’s not even like a particular fear, it’s more like the following:
originally the challenge of bsky for me was making my thoughts and feelings legible whatsoever, and the consideration of others viewing didn’t even arise.
but now i also have the knowledge that whatever i produce will be seen by people i care about, and will be interpreted in a variety of different ways. and my thoughts have become less internal and more about others anyway, which is more challenging to navigate and share publicly.
so i have all these additional layers on my mind that weren’t a factor before.
tho idk this explanation feels rushed and i don’t feel like im in the right headspace to properly explain it atm srry
like it’s funny to see me express similar sentiments when i had literally 44 followers lmao, it’s like just a categorical switch in my brain for skeeting for myself vs in the presence of others
(this was referring to juliet btw lol)
my parents are kinda fully on that train.
idk if ive heard them distance themselves from the word “religion”, but they are keen to distance themselves from The Church as like institutionalized religion*.
theologically they’re like completely committed to a very individualized relationship view.
*and they take an extremely wide view of what this entails. as in basically anything formalized or non-dyadic is essentially superfluous at the end of the day.
they don’t really have a model for community besides being an amplifier for personal faith.
i think they’ve stopped attending services altogether post-covid, and don’t hear them talk much about religion anymore outside of randomly deciding to pray before a meal or some flaccid canned phrases.
but if prompted they will fervently defend whatever confused form of christianity they follow
i've been pretty aloof the last little bit, not intentionally, and not even necessarily overwhelmed, just a lil occupied and not going out of my way to initiate.
please know i love u all lots