complicated chat tonight, i don't love when things are forced to go unsaid

of course we landed on our feet but there were some rocky parts in the middle

it brought it up, not me

shouldn't have sent that text but it's okay

oh i don't like flowers taped to pens as much as i thought i did

maybe emoviolence is not so interesting

practically speaking, it's okay and probably good to deny yourself womanhood because you can’t see yourself meeting some expectation others have set

phrasing stolen from quoted skeet on the skyline

well yknow maybe practical for certain purposes, claiming it before you've earned it might encourage you to live up to the category. or it might do the reverse. so it's whatever really

mainly i just find the validation-before-action approach to be unsatisfying and inaccurate

okay maybe danii does have a point i kind of am dating annie

i am being pelted with rocks engraved with "you need better bitches"

tonight i have an edate with danii, tomorrow night i have an edate with the technical director of a hospital

do you think he'd be jealous if i told him we aren't exclusive >.<

bro holy shit my analyst just casually offering patient MRNs to cloudflare wtf are you doing dawg 😭😭😭

yea fine you're right

i've only ever known truthy and falsey.. booleans arent real they can't hurt u

not to dwell on this point but if you knew how ardently i refused to do literally anything beyond what was strictly necessary in my adolescence, i think my current behavior makes a lot more sense

what do we think, am i staying up to watch a movie at 1am with the ex server

the correct answer is nomegalul

id rather be a kantian than a utilitarian or empiricist

this treads into weird territory that instrumentalizes the people you interact with to the extreme, and the reinforcement of that habit shouldn't be ignored, but yknow there's gradations to it

which is why i can't really be all that upset at myself for doing obviously stupid things

part of me says i'm young, try some stuff out you'll probably hate. do things that suck because they push you into uncomfortability. part of me says you're not that young, you need to care about the quality of the things you do. ig i just think you can do the latter with splashes of the former.

in the grand scheme of things what's a thrown away afternoon or two, if it means i'm a little less frightened and confused all the time

i want to move out of this town someday, just to experience something new

this wasn't an accident, i have to do more uncomfortable things

it's frankly astonishing how much less anxious ive become

i wish gail could see me now

slightly distasteful repost for a privileged american (even among americans) but yknow someone had to say it

kasey kitty is so cute

"wait, hug 🥺"

i feel kinda prog fuzzy even tho i didn't take prog

recent prog addict describing drowsiness:

it's just warm outside

watch this i'm gonna do something cool

not everything is worth noting

oh damn i didn't even realize we upgraded lol

miserable ngl

realest shit you'll ever see

saturday-only was a great meta because coordinating with the nightmare 8 hour timezone gap is torture

going to try some app time limits to encourage me to do better things, but i don't have a great sense for what i should set them to yet

im still catching up on sleep debt

im in bed without a shirt on and i completely stand corrected, sleeping without clothes is way better

you're holding it wrong

i get into moods where i'm excessively negative and cynical about my motivations, sleep deprivation doesn't help

evolving from "will write a long ass thread about you on a secret alt" to "will write a long ass thread about you in your dms"

not sure i can pawn this one off as "vaguely about you" tho