punk clears emo by a mile

damn the little note progression in sunny day 47 is great

LOL wait

who up spacing they repetition

hey that's me i am!

desperately need a gingerbee that isn't redditcore

tls really out here telling amb ts to just try shit in the router

i am on the precipice of an instability loop but that's boring so i won't let it happen

nah i think it was just stating things that were beyond my understanding that was making me uncomfortable, i hate that

i love my voice rn

i compete with shizu for most deactivations

many times i have heavily considered patching my pds to make a post on deacc and reacc but it always feels too cruel so i don't go through with it

it's understandable but still odd how many people are committed to some form of anti-coercion in the abstract without much interrogation into what would make that stance internally consistent

which is of course true for all concepts and commitments but it's strikingly under-explored despite being relatively thin

lol okay sorry that was a weird couple of days but im over myself now, he lied

everyone knows third wave is pretty shit but most fourth and fifth wave is also not so great i don't trust the emotion in fourth wave, it's performative and their hearts aren't in it fifth wave is a different story because it's disparate, but the trends aren't that inspiring. quirky & quaint

it's cliche to say second wave had something special (they don't call fourth wave revival for nothing). it had some highs and lows but the highs shine bright. i think it's much closer to what im after, but their common aggregation puts them in conversation with a group i'm not so interested in

im also aware most music will be bad and the closer it is to current day, the more unsifted things will be, especially with the way internet publishing works

i'm not into irl dating but the idea of it turning into e-dating makes me not against it

e dating -> ~irl dating -> e ~dating is nature healing

may have been a breakup or two in between but who's keeping track

rapid fire takes: enums are cool home headphones are nicer than work headphones the animation while account switching on bsky is really ugly now my new phone's mic is dogshit

im always just one interaction from my day turning around :)

see i told u

every day i tell kasey "i love u sooooo many let's have a play date" and she replies "i hate you stupid inky minky you must wait an hour before you can join me in 2nd bed"

a not insignificant contributor to my recent malaise is due to danii convincingly reminding me of this last weekend

and the real despair is not so much about the work i do (although yknow, duh), it's more about not even seeing the appeal in the passions available to me anymore

why bother, why care to realize whatever potential i have. i just don't see the point. and then what am i left with? dissatisfaction with my current lot and no utopia left to envision

and to be clear the disappointment at that point is not about myself failing to live up to my potential, it's disappointment about the pursuits not living up to their potential

maybe that's suspiciously exculpatory but like have you seen the state of things? maybe i wouldn't be so down about it at all if it felt like there were some meaningful community to contribute to or participate in, but right now it feels as if it would be entirely wasteful

i'm pulling different levers of personal life to feel better and it's somewhat working but also very clearly not the issue

maybe progesterone has served as a mood stabilizer and that's probably a good thing (oh no i'm doing placebo prog astrology someone stop me)

i don't even know what i feel anymore

i love boys with angel wings

my bed won't be on fire i will sleep like a baby my head won't be restless it'd be nice to get off my feet

talk out loud use words that people understand everything else is written in sand and i know it will blow over i wish it would have ended without being so long-winded

:(

ethical intellectual property

i don't believe in copyright i just believe in institutionally enforced just desert

see this is why i have to stop being exposed to people's ideas, they're all just dumb and pointless and id be better off not making my brain buzz over something so worthless

even the more interesting conceptual issues (the interrelation between faith and community) aren't really my problems and every reply disappoints the prompt

ugh head foggy from thinking, im still irritated

on memory

intentionality is an important theme in my life right now

i was intention-averse for a while and i have such a distaste for it now. against against articulation.

"tgirl philosophy book club" i vomited in my mouth

mary is right that everyone is being cynical and nasty and it's ugly but the only alternative ive found to not be this way is hibernation and i don't want to do that right now

list still active yknow