whatever i'm killing the taro feed, its been busted since relay upgrade and i don't care enough about proto anymore to fix it

oh my god i'm like insane anxious bro djdhdndhahdj i hate criticals

learning isn't meant to be fun or engaging

grrr twitter has me seeing pedagogy takes again, curse u jules

was searching in archive for unrelated reasons and was surprised to see this thread lol, funny timing given yesterday

(yesterday)

smh why are we trying to copy the goat

kinda crazy how beneficial a good night's sleep can be, i was really not feeling it yesterday and i feel a lot more fresh today

also a shower

hailey dot at

i dislike every step of the canned dialogue tree that begins: "ai is being used for x thing, skirting existing norms of responsibility, and this is bad" "this is good actually, this could lead to the reduction in having to do x"

idk it's just always too narrow and stupid. what kind of institutional structure could produce x as a reasonable demanded activity and why do we have any reason to believe that ai performance of x would alleviate those pressures, even if adequately performed (big if in the short term)

the best part of the night is when i peel off my sweatshirt and curl up in the covers and the worst part of the night is when i have no one to hold

not to be a hater but the new bandcamp embed sucks shit

it would still suck shit even if it weren't completely broken on android (that part is par for the course)

i was kinda distracted and unfocused but i don't regret that call

pretty sure im repeating myself here, like multiple times

ive always been more comfortable as an endurance runner anyway

i like skramz more than midwest emo

it's honestly pretty cool that kasey isn't interested in some aspects of my life because then it means i am forced to work out how i want to confide in others

today is not gonna be fun

taking the liberal democratic + capitalist mode of production as given, i think pete buttegeig is basically my ideal candidate, besides maybe the military stuff

but like he's just so boring wonkish evidence-based socdem technocrat-pilled and the thing is, at least in terms of long-term economic efficiency (incl. intra- and inter- national externalities), that's basically as good as you can get

fuck dude im so tired

i think a lot of my problems last year were in part attributable to my inability to muster criticisms of wittgenstein

that sounds absurd on its face but like i did share this romantic view in the unadulterated everyday and the method of expression that dealt in inexplicit reminders of the everyday which more rigorous thought would ironically obscure

even when i didn't explicitly endorse it (and sometimes i did, to some components at least), it was an operating principle of mine. and i would react very coldly to critiques, but characteristically just by avoidantly turning away to other thoughts instead of rejecting the rejection

which is also where nietzsche comes in, and he largely played a similar destructive role on similar methodological points

pragmatism and linguistic philosophy and nonmoral ethicists are just not what i want or need right now. i won't run away from their influence but it's all so tiring and my engagement with it was self-destructive

the people on denpa-chan and the next generation of youtube posters leave me rather unimpressed and uninterested

my experiences with phoebe are unbelievably corporeal, i'm constantly shocked how strong my body reacts all over

it's not even a metaphor when i say that my skin feels electric or my eyes are full of brightness or my heart skips a beat, i react so strongly when im with her

and yet i'm not like completely swept off my feet or overly romantic about it all, i don't feel pressure and i don't feel exuberance

sometimes she'll just say something and i'll start leaking or my breath will be completely stolen or i'll squirm around in excitement

it's also great that all of this is interspersed with casual conversation, i have fun with her but i appreciate thats not all it is

honestly i think this is just the result of having a sexually interested relationship alongside enough comfortability and mutual respect to be able to talk openly with her. before others i was able to be more directly to her and while initially i think this was the result of some fed-up emotions and

a lack of care for what might come of the relationship, the resulting conversations actually made me respect her a lot more and get into her headspace. it's sweet and special and i like that no one has to get it but us

it was really hard when we had to be public and when we had to make ourselves understood to roommates and partners and we manage a lot better when it's just the two of us

sweet but not saccharine, playful but not dreamy, soft but not dull, quiet but not shameful, caring but not captivated

new carveth vid is interesting given my recent discussions on guilt

yknow what actually this is staying in my diary

truth is a very flat metaphor

so funny that that was the issue

lesson learned: just be a normie

oh my god lmfaooooo jetstream2 us-east's cursor sucks

erm

post

sob