i keep having to hold myself back from saying "parsimonious" because of philosophy of science in my mind it has come to have an aesthetic association of harmony and coherence when really it's more about frugality of assumptions

envy as dyadic and jealousy as triadic is appealingly simple and harmonious but i think there might be some challenging edge cases

i had a dream emma was confessing to me in a fancy restaurant and then her hair caught on fire

(matt was there and also her mom but in a not forced way, i think her mom owned the place or something)

her mom put it out and emma was surprisingly okay and was starting to talk again and then she caught on fire again

i was telling juliet how unfortunately i handled danii and the regrets i had about how i behaved and emma definitely fits that too. idk maybe i have a hard time dealing with people im less interested in than they are to me, like practically speaking im going to want to interact less and will

take steps to distance myself but afterwards it's hard not to think about the vulnerable position they put themselves in and the responsibility that gives me to treat them with kindness, a responsibility i never quite get right.

because idk i probably don't dislike you on the whole, evidently that's the case because with all of these types or relationships ive returned to them after some time to try and interact. like we didn't hit it off for no reason. it's just that the current context is overwhelming for me and

it's challenging to de-escalate that without killing the relationship as a whole, and/or significantly stifling their interest in me. but those points we're starting to tread into manipulative and selfish territory.

like i appreciate the intimacy i just can't handle the intensity, and it feels like if i give up one the other will collapse too, but that's not my decision to make for them.

but even as i type that and know that to be true (not even morally but just prudentially, like it is going to cause practical and predictable issues), i still don't like actually believe it to my core in an action-guiding way. i can see that it has and will continue to cause me issues,

and that i could stand to be a lot more explicit and open about my actual mental state, but it just feels so risky and is frightening. but those aren't good reasons dude!

so i just stay quiet and try to handle that all in my head one-sidedly and it makes all interactions this veiled and confused thing that is extra stressful for me, i think i have to learn to articulate myself. it's just hard because idk what even the nature of that discussion looks like!

like what am i supposed to say? it can't be framed as like a serious intervention or disruption of what we're already doing, something akin to a breakup or taking a break or step back. because that way implies a disruption in connection that i don't really intend or desire, and even if i affirm that

directly, it's going to come across otherwise. but i think im underestimating the people i'm talking to, especially nowadays at our current age. it would probably be fine. i just also dont trust myself to articulate and that if i screw up and cause a misunderstanding, the stakes are the relationship

to quote kasey: i have to be a big girl and coordinate a mutual relationship reassessment with my situationship and speak openly about the feelings i have, even if they're conflicted/confused/not fully worked out/risky because the inevitable consequence of postponing is resentment/deterioration

the trouble is speaking openly while not being sure what honesty looks like, and i'm notoriously unreliable at working it out on the fly. but in some sense it feels necessary for it to be worked out together and not giving them the opportunity to contribute to our self-determination is bad

i mean bad practically, and it's funny because the relationships i have been more open with have found a way of working, i think im just right when ive said in the past that proximity trumps all as a precondition for interaction and as long as you maintain interaction it'll work out.

so the threat of the loss of mutual self-determination is less moral and more of a threat to break down all at once, which leaves a condition that is a lot harder to incrementally recover from proximity-wise

woa this is a cool post in the thread view when not in focus, the last word gets cut off with no indication that it's done so

this isn't just an android bug or smthn right

im so out of the loop these days my first impulse should probably be that this is a known thing by everyone and i'm just isolated

looking in the mirror guy: you will get more sleep, you will perform hygiene operations before work tomorrow, you um... look just take care of yourself okay? im worried about you

it makes you sad being in the florescent box all day and the exposure and stress and long hours and accumulation of customer backlog, and it makes you feel guilty that you can't listen to music properly. be kind to yourself, it will pass

i have some peculiar self-soothing habits

when the fresh girl says "for sure" and you can only hear macron

bro said fresh

getting the google recorder apk was more nightmarish than i thought, wtf do u mean they limit it to pixels

seems pretty good tho, probably gonna be perfect for my needs. might have wanted a more up to date version but this works

sorry i was more tired than i thought

i wanna get out of here but i can't leave until other people do, if i try to leave now they'll just give me work to do

hailey noooooo don't retweet the nightmare blunt rotation 😭

arendt, habermas, mills,,, that's willow rage bait

2026 is the year of canadian bloomfs

pros: i figured out optimal pathing during day one of go-live cons: optimal pathing is still not that good

i have a couple of these "it never gets better" diary channel subscriptions and it's such a caricature of depression it genuinely improves my mood

user choice is bad because users have bad taste but that's for the goycattle, my taste is aristocratic and unique like a graceful snowflake and ought not be constrained

me, exercising my will with a lack of constraints:

one of the more useful gestures is the ability to slide at the top bar to disable/reenable the dynamic island, it's often in the way or undesirable or distracting and i appreciate the option to dismiss it

not always of course, and it's nice that the gesture is quick to re-enable and quickly do related actions

`<program> & disown` is one of my favorite cli tricks. yes i have an avoidant attachment style with a lot of failed relationships i still keep an eye on, why do you ask?

so you mistook the instrumental for the good-in-itself? don't worry puppy, we've all been there

they're gonna name a fallacy after me one day

i respect people that ask stupid questions

mostly for initiating the discussion

the stock market is a mutual aid organization and food not bombs is not

it's also more of a dual power organization, according to anarchists' own definition

i think i actually read this in a mutualist piece some time

especifismo: stalinism with a black flag

less true of mutual aid but tbh that ones moreso trivially true and always around. you're doing charity and that's fine