root screeenshot is gail talking about sydney which is crazy lmfao

it's wild for a few reasons, like first and foremost its so persistent of a trait and such an identifiable and consistent theme. i always romanticize and heighten my emotions of loss, and i don't want to let them go

i've also talked about in the past that i LOVE when people make statements about me. the attention and attribution and it always feels intimate and connected and insightful

the specific point i wanna related to that that is around projective identification and consensus-seeking and how it feels like one of the most powerful ways i can meld together with someone

by assenting to your view i get to maintain and produce consensus, it's already a heightened emotional scenario to ascribe traits to another person and by accepting the interpretation we get to share this blissful positive connection with the release on tension

and its not like the agreement is faked or anything, i really do feel that way in the moment and after as well. your ideas are my ideas (and they're ideas about me! which is like we're inside each other) and our boundaries are blurred and its just this overwhelming embrace and i'm safe

they're calling me out for my chronic mourning and persistent desire for re-connection during the dissolution of a romantic relationship

also my heightened bedtime cortisol levels but thats neither here nor there

killow but its just kasey

killow but its just kasey :pleading:

i wouldn't kill for futur selfies but i would be very interested

chat is this real (this is an example not a call out)

false consensus is my middle name

that's right i have FOUR names

aw 😭

if you take domain-specificity seriously, that has pretty significant implications for sydney as my first romantic experience

i think that helps make sense of some of the dismissive themes in gail, which of course iterated and transformed those tendencies in a variety of ways

the parental-peer transition also has a lot to do with this i think, as the former's waning significance was and is rather evident

i need to remember that rumination is concomitant with anxious urgency for care

that seems obvious but i often frame it as lacking vigor or activity and the proposed solution is reorient around something more productive its like no girliepop ur hyperactivated rn

recognizing that doesn't have a ton of direct practical import (i can't always receive affection from those i desire it from, and the desire itself doesn't mean it would be best if it were satisfied) but it does encourage me to think in terms of a different kind of weakness

always a lil awkward when ur slightly imprecise

minor terminological mistake 😟

regale me with your stories, i like you

this but unironically

i’m still thinking abt epistemology from yesterday

time for sleep

i’m continually impressed by those around me who live with the confidence of deflationary theories of meaning, and frankly i’m continually anxious in their presence for my inability to do the same

i think my diagnosis is wrong again ugh

that boy is a turgid mess

that boy is me

i should get caffiene tonight while im useless so then i can abuse it and be useful tmrw

everyone wish kasey good luck

whew im chill now

i’m very particular and get overstimulated easily

:( i’m irritated

work environment really bad today

be nice to me

floral green is nice

ew i hate my smell today

the office does not suit me

hm i think im becoming more sensitive to scenarios where i have all the meaning there is and yet i still attempt hopelessly to wring more out

i just have to be on guard against it, retrospective rot is comfortable and familiar

ngl this guy kinda popped into existence one day and then engagement farmed but in a weird “replying to everything with my actual opinion and it’s relatively respectable by academic philosophy standards”

actually tbh aristotle can probably stay put