While it would be a mistake to pretend that rethinking, revalueing, and recreating the way we see and practice relationships isn’t difficult work— it is— it would be an even greater mistake to ignore the reason we set to that work to begin with.

the past sucks, im not looking forward to the future either.

In other news, muzhoka knows this really cute gay guy that streams and he’s so fucking hot

I really don’t want to go on rn. I don’t want to interact with people, I don’t want to be forced into labor, I don’t want to leave my room, I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to sleep, I don’t want to have to think about how fucked the world is

I don’t feel very good :/ I want to go for a run but it’s way too late and I already did today.

There’s this interesting contradiction I have where the thing most important to me is my mind and mental experience I’d say, like the things that primarily interest me are in that way, and often psychical things just get in my way and frustrate that more intellectual pursuit.

this is really random but im searching for cute underwear rn and remembered a time when i was kid where i basically tucked and tried to convince isaiah that something happened to my penis lol - there are actually a lot of instances of me doing stuff breaking from gender norms/

I feel gorgeous right now ☺️ cleaned up and shaved my legs and ah euphoria :)

I think something I really appreciate but often isn't said is how important philosophy has been to my life. It helps me avoid existential boredom and find meaning in everyday events by connecting them to a larger picture of values. Honestly I think this type of thinking and

Oh I should also mention that recently I’ve been able to feel a bit positive about my penis, which is a nice change. Still often uncomfortable about it, but I’ve been able to look at in the mirror without looking away which is nice.

holy fuck episode 15 was beautiful. im crying.

the last few days i have felt REALLY good about my body. I think its because I haven't been eating that much and my belly just isn't full, but maybe running more has something to do with it too. Long hair also feels really nice, and I'm enjoying it getting longer

starting darling in the franxx, theres a lot that i like but oh my god its almost unwatchable. the fanservice EXCLUSIVELY done to women characters is fucking awful and constant, and even the MC girl who is like sexually confident gets sexualized by the camera angles

Bloom Into You is giving me the opportunity to look into asexual and aromantic stuff more and its so interesting! like sex favorable asexuals are so fascinating and its super freeing to have this understanding to describe things

guitar riffs can make me feel the most intense emotions

I go through these periods where my head is just so full and I feel paralyzed from doing anything. I'm tired out from something (in this case, finishing classes) and I want to relax, but its hard. There's this sort of moral anxiety where I can't let myself enjoy media

nyquil fucks my sleep so much no sleep all night so tired but body doesn't recognize sleep signal bc medicine does!!! teehee

bruh how am i still sick. this shit sucks

Oscar Pollock is so fucking hot omg

It’s incredibly easy to be an anarchist if you just imagine the state’s coercive power never has or had any benefit, and was exclusively and intentionally maliciously created to hold power over others. While there may be a great deal of truth to that explanation, and that there

1 paper submitted, next one will be super easy. I hope grading goes ok, way over the word count and the format is all fucky, gah

I wanted to tweet last night about how fast an Advil I took worked but I was too tired lol

Somehow I’ve become sick :/ Family gathering this weekend or the 2 runs I went on somehow got me here. Feel like shit

holy fuck my anxiety is like out of control holy shit

I feel really fucking overwhelmed right now - hard to focus on any one thing

hate my body :/

really frustrating problem of recreating uncomfortable social situations and then verbally expressing something. had this for a long long time just kinda really frustrating. and beating myself up for it after it happens just makes it worse im sure but :/

I think it’s really hard for me to imagine a future for myself without a lot of restraints. I really just want minimal constraints on myself, the “natural” constraints of things like having to eat and being stuck in this physical body are enough already

I jog like 100 yards every few days and now my metabolism is like 📈

I feel so restless, I can’t sleep and I don’t feel relaxed after work

boysmell uwu

I feel rly tired, classes are a lot rn :/

genshin boys hnnnggg

i really like my voice today 🥰

i just felt heartache for the first time since gail and I broke up bc i was listening to "it never stops" by bad books

oh also i wanted to mention this the other day but when I went out with brother and dad for birthday i saw this super cute guy omg lol i was blush so hard >///< for some reason its more exciting and intense, prob because I haven't been able to express it before now

I need to do more research on permaculture, rewilding, and light/heavy industry. They seem to be some of the areas where anarchism has its most powerful arguments against liberal/socdem solutions

One option is just keep doing whatever feels right with relationship(s) (lmao) and by January we catch up and see, basically just act like RA. Justification being it’s what I believe and compromising that for someone, even if they’re really important to me, would be antithetical

Ok so my mom told me things that Gail texted her when I was over for my birthday, and I need to process it. 2 big things:1 she wanted to text me about birthday but wanted to keep rules we set, and 2her expectations have become more “realistic” and she doesn’t need to live in cali

I bounce from socdem to anarchist depending on the issue, scale, time frame. potentially just have to read more theory and i still am learning but it certainly is an odd moment for me

lol i look like shit, bags so big no sleep

Decided I wanted to do some reflection (I was not already thinking about). Being without Gail in some ways is like super freeing for me. Like there’s an additional responsibility for myself and handling things that I just didn’t have. I think even though I consciously knew she

Anarchy!!!

My political journey: 1) injustice and oppression exist 2) often its systemic 3) corporations play a massive role in this oppression 4) the government has incredible potential to solve these issues 5) ah nevermind the state only acts in its own interest

Uncomfortable with body -> no eat -> no energy/focus -> overwhelmed -> spiral for a bit -> decide I want to eat again -> energy is back, so is weight (or perception of) Start over 😀

My personality is so variable, I hate how much I change depending on social environment

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:( I feel like nothing is interesting to me rn. no games, no videos, no more school work (im doing enough). Idk, I think maybe I want social interaction (specifically from ryna or other ppl from maya's server) but the server is down so yea idk

anxiety anxiety anxiety fuck fuck fuck fuck sorry sorry sorry gah gah ahg;lkasdhjg