i should have no when she asked me to go out tonight

guys i’m starting to think i have an anxiety problem

i am hilarious

i wanna be like xubi when i grow up

i wish i could stay awake to prevent tomorrow from happening

bugcatcherjuli

o7 another one bites the dust

i love this translation so much 😭 literally what does this even mean

Therapist: Qi Luo's teddy bear can't hurt you Qi Luo's teddy bear:

i just found out what SOMCON is, holy shit. fucking brilliant that School Days has integration for it, actually incredible

i opened up G-senjou no Maou for the first time just to see if it would run and i'm elated at the config options omg. idec what the story is like, this vn is brilliant

i'm pretty sure my favorite thing in the world is to feed my ass off on rein and type "mtd" after my team carries me

incelcore cover of girl in red

still wearing it btw, who knows when i'll stop. comforting, sad.

it's not just that i'm depressed - been there, done that. it just all feels so much more hopeless now. at least in high school and college in the back of my mind i knew it was all temporary, but what am i supposed to do now that there is no end in sight? this is the rest of my life.

my life is lacking vitality in a way that i don't feel like it ever has before. i feel trapped and stuck and i don't care about anything anymore, if i ever did. it's not just a fleeting feeling or situation, it's all consuming. the distractions are insufficient, i want out of this existence.

i would say i don't love the hog rework but honestly there's nothing they could do to make me happy. when i say i miss ancient hog, i really mean i miss ancient overwatch.

don't worry everyone, i have forever given up on being interesting in programming. it turns out i am far too stupid.

the first two seasons of You 2018 are bad in an enjoyable way, and the third is just boring

sorry jay i don't know how to talk to you

everyone i interact with is a collection of platitudes and cliches

newtypes: being succinct is fascism (the newtypes are correct)

mad respect to her for not being manipulated by my extremely obvious and pathetic faux OD attempt to avoid responsibility

i should keep razors in my backpack, i’m too tired to self harm by the time i get home

“don’t be afraid to say ‘i don’t know’!! :D” brother my entire job is to pretend like i know what im talking about, there’d be nothing left

i’m so uncomfy i wanna scream i hate myself

now is about the right emotional state to rexie relapse but i don’t think my brain and body can afford the luxury at the moment

i was right about this btw

i’m too tired to even be sad i’m pretty sure my heart beat 3 times more than it was supposed to today

cringecringecringecringecringecringecringecringecringecringe harpoons of cringe stabbing my fucking heart cringe cringe cringe cringe

with people like this in my comments, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing for my channel to get permanently banned

i haven't used my actual computer in over 2 days and coming back it feels weird and wrong and not comforting and that's scary scary scary scary scary scary bad. it's the only home i have and i don't want to lose it. i feel like i'm clinging for anything i can to ground myself but it's just not there

ngl im extraordinarily overwhelmed

my sleep is so fucked

how is my brothers cpu 105 C at idle

my brother in christ it is 5:20 and pitch black outside wym good afternoon

it’s genuinely baffling how people expect philosophy to be immediately reducible to propositions in common parlance. sometimes yes, you will have to do the homework to understand, i’m sorry. i can help get you to the right level of abstraction or provide some historical background,

this experiment has been disastrously successful. i’m uncomfortable and suspicious with how well its worked out. i fear it would not have been possible without my recent normification. what a distasteful misfortune.

tfw you still have an anxiety disorder you’ve just gotten better at masking, coping, and avoiding that you forget sometimes (until it becomes unavoidably obvious once more)

i’m depressed and tired and on edge. i want to not be here.

i am miserable

goodbye me, i’ll miss you this week

comfort is the death of excellence - the reader of a book already read is decadent and stagnant

the overwhelming cult of conformity is revolting and suffocating

nearly all of my communication is severely narcissistic, selfish, and extractive in nature

my interactions with my family are incredibly odd because i have an inordinate amount of power and influence. they’re desperate to have me around and no longer have any power to coerce me to do so.

current mood:

another day another youtube ban

the lassalle fan club stays winning