i should be openly confused more often. like not directly to people probably, although it couldn't hurt. i've gotten a little better about it but i still think i've got some pride to shake
the nice thing about a second honeymoon period is that it's rather tempered and ambivalent, there's still some unsure excitement but you're too familiar with one another to be under any misconceptions of perfection
for every step forward there's a second thought, a hesitation, a consideration of retreat. which means the continued mutual interest is deliberate and intentional
but things like showing up every week to see each other, texting even when it's imperfect and effortful, sharing not-quite-formed feelings with each other, that stuff isn't exuberant or flashy but it does mean something
life gets a lot more comfortable and a lot more confident when you figure out what responsibilities are acceptable (appropriate?) to abnegate and which should be respected
obvi that's a continual process of re-evaluation and it doesn't mean you need to know exactly what form those responsibilities will take, it's usually sufficient to identify (construct/ascribe?) a category and say "'more' or 'less' of that, please"
the concept of responsibility has deontic connotations that sit uncomfortably with gradation, and i'm not sure yet if that means the above formulation is confused or if reality is just confusing like that