religious folks are onto something with belief before articulable knowledge. sometimes that should push me to figure out the way to demonstrate it, and sometimes it seems more appropriate to wait and abstain from speech in the interim but i'm really really wary of the latter nowadays

hm i can tell i'm uneasy and i would prefer to stabilize a bit. i don't like being back in my office and that makes it harder, but it's also not the source of the issue. i really just want some minor gesture of reassurance, but it's better if i don't receive it so i learn my lesson

i feel like i've been underperforming a little and i'd like to not be doing that, but also i know stressing about things in that way is pretty bad for me

i really do have a chill out a little more

i need new music

i mean this more metaphorically but also literally, and i also think new music is part of the way out

nothing drastic just a nudge

it knows what i'm here for

i'm not gonna talk about the other things i'm up to! they're a secret!

idk how kasey puts up with my fluctuations, it's probably pretty annoying

have i mentioned how neat virtue ethics is lately

i should read macintyre again

i would like juli posts on an alt but id be exposing myself more than obscuring her at this point

clout fox wins again

i'm having fun but i have to pace myself

okay juliet and danii are right im overextended lol

that one retarded oomf

i love getting an email that opens with "i'm thinking of doing a dubious thing"

im never reading this kant book bro i should get it off my desk

i should probably feel bad for ghosting before but meh, i was kinda not so interested. it wasn't so much upkeep though, so i don't mind. hope they're alright. we'll see when the response comes in how they feel lol

eat your heart out david

gonna shower and do fun stuff now

it's the worst when you do one reply too many and then you have to spend the next five clarifying that you in fact agree

you can stop digging the hole for yourself any time !!

wait i forgot i'm goated that was easy

hyp*rspace on a 4k monitor is how it was intended to be used istg, actually unusable otherwise

my impression of you is akin to a church girl who thinks of herself as a misbehaving rebel for doing things everyone else thinks is normal /pos

ah yes i disabled copilot at startup, but i really wanted microsoft 365 copilot to be added to my startup apps with an overriding keyboard shortcut, thank you microslop

crestfallen is beautiful name for a baby enby

willow is dead, long live willow

im in my wren arc still but name swapping is too inconvenient

i should take vaca days soon

i like that my voice is variable

relative strangers she/her-ing me is cute, thanks bas

yea lol i haven't touched it in ages (and the code quality is embarrassingly poor). i'd happily merge any prs if you felt like fixing things but don't see myself actively maintaining it

i love when i have a case of "i should really do something else but i can't tear myself away from this activity"* *when the activity is some aesthetic engagement because i know it's good for me. i could probably learn to tear myself a little more from other things and stop over overextending myself

despera is never coming out, it's over chat

i might read the novel

hypothesis: lots of relationships aren't actually that hard for me, it's just that public microblogging for an audience and signing myself up for repeated confinement to others' living spaces that sucks

ive improved at all of the above though so it's easier

how's the line go? fail again fail better meow i'm a kitten

i didn't realize id start a full elf vc last night lol, sorry for passing out

they're inventing new backchanneling methods to deal with me

talking with danii today made me realize how much my personality shift was a rejection of my relationship style with ollie

i still can't bring myself to feel personal animous towards her in basically any way, but everything about who i was in that relationship is exemplary of what i never want to tolerate again.

+1 tally to being grateful to people breaking my heart so i can become a better person

willow couldn't die until hollow did

fitting pet name in any case

my room is so dark that my screen keeps turning itself off thinking it's in a pocket