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oh woa i made it to o
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tbh i really just trust kademlia and kasey and juliet and futur. also respect to those who know of the accounts and don't care to keep up, ur great too
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i remember hailey found the last one basically immediately bc she saw a did web error lol
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anyway i think im gonna be sensitive to likes and acknowledgement for a while so pls be gentle

i think it'd be nice to just talk openly with you someday, but if the lore doc would help organize your thoughts or would be comfortably indirect, i wouldn't be opposed

i keep getting screwed by no-add items, over-time items and related-multi history tables have some beneficial qualities
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but only for reporting, which we all know is the devil. the records themselves are much nicer otherwise
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the dreary pins feed was a good invention when it existed, this will have to do in its stead

the one regrettable thing about this is that i don't have a written transcript of my thoughts. i often like to record audio between myself and kasey or myself and juliet but this feels wildly inappropriate with danii. our time is just for us and no one else, not even future us.
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the things i arrive at with it feel significant and capturing the development would be lovely, but it would be hopelessly cruel to ourselves, individually anxiety-inducing, and perspective-distorting
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what we have is fragile and private and worth protecting

well more accurately
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i have to finish my homework and id like to be a little more settled with responsibilities

i sure have been posting a lot about danii lately
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it's one of the main things i have worth expressing (work and coda are off-limits), a lot of my other activities are tangentially related to her in some way, and any complex thoughts i can talk with it about directly, which is much more enjoyable and much more fruitful that posting to myself anyway
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it's better that i talk to danii rather than kasey about introspective things, it kind of annoy kasey kitty and even though she likes to know what's up with me she has low patience for the ceaseless meandering



everyone at work has claude derangement
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i can tell you copy-pasted that explanation vro...
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the bullet point lists, the bolding, the em-dashes, the parenthetical italics, the awkward emphasis on repeating commonly assumed context not worth stating

my fave desktop environment is windows explorer

are you a rhythmically obedient type or an emotional type
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(i know the answer and it is not the emotional type)

car seat headrest is fine but not for me

so-called "anti-malware" software when it pegs my CPU at 80%

i think im gonna cry



this vid also made me realize I missed a spot with escaping my ampersands
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i know the ui needs a lot of work but i'm still kinda fleshing out features
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i just wanted to show off my cool little uri thing

i was born this way kavya i can't help it

i think i was also just so hellbent on being an introvert before that i never got to appreciate companionship properly

thinking abt this again
adorno, on popular music

Hollywood and Tin Pan Alley may be dream factories. But they do not merely supply categorical wish fulfillment for the girl behind the counter. She does not immediately identify herself with Ginger Rogers marrying. What does occur may be expressed as follows: when the audience at a sentimental film or sentimental music become aware of the overwhelming possibility of happiness, they dare to confess to themselves what the whole order of contemporary life ordinarily forbids them to admit, namely, that they actually have no part in happiness. What is supposed to be wish fulfillment is only the scant liberation that occurs with the realization that at last one need not deny oneself the happiness of knowing that one is unhappy and that one could be happy. The experience of the shop girl is related to that of the old woman who weeps at the wedding services of others, blissfully becoming aware of the wretchedness of her own life. Not even the most gullible individuals believe that eventually everyone will win the sweepstakes. The actual function of sentimental music lies rather in the temporary release given to the awareness that one has missed fulfillment. The emotional listener listens to everything in terms of late romanticism and of the musical commodities derived from it which are already fashioned to fit the needs of emotional listening. They consume music in order to be allowed to weep. They are taken in by the musical expression of frustration rather than by that of happiness. The influence of the standard Slavic melancholy typified by Tchaikowsky and Dvorak is by far greater than that of the most "fulfilled" moments of Mozart or of the young Beethoven. The so-called releasing element of music is simply the opportunity to feel something. But the actual content of this emotion can only be frustration. Emotional music has become the image of the mother who says, "Come and weep, my child." It is catharsis for the masses, but catharsis which ke…
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one who weeps does not resist any more than one who marches

dude how come no one told me companionship was so great
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i spent the last two days with lindsey and it was just rather pleasant, i enjoyed her company. i don't think i even have a crush on her anymore, i just like spending time with her
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i'm thinking about this with respect to my relationships more broadly as well. romantic flourishes are appreciated but the raw fact of our togetherness is far more valuable to me.
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i originally wrote parent with specific enumerations of people but i realized they were all too different and too much the same, you'll have to settle for the vague gesture


something unfortunate about taro dying is that kasey isn't really up to date on my life

"if you're scolding me you can use he/him" wait no that's too kinky

i should probably try eating something today