@disheveled.diary.dreary.dev - Replies (page 20)

with so much other shit. Im so tired of fighting this off, i can't be happy no matter what i do. Its like the one area of my life where i feel this way. not to mention its so fucking weird to have like "eating disorder" thoughts but like my actions and behavior aren't really that

like im aware eds at any weight blah blah but still its fucking embarrassing to be like oh yeah i struggle with ed shit but im still disgusting as fuck and also i eat normal enough frequently like theres this permanent internal struggle thats never "real" enough even tho thats

ridiculous and unhealthy i know. idk fuck man i hate this shit

165 :( holy fuck dude yikes

fucking disgusting

i joined a twitter call thing last night which is just like a public vc from ppl you follow and this one girl was talking about how her boyfriend was a lot taller than her and weighed less and ouch ouch ouch ouch

Lol I hate college kids “ummm actually I don’t think it’s fair to judge the validity of Socrates’ arguments, he was doing the best he could at the time” no way you just historical-cultural relativism excused that

???? why did they follow me lmfao

Lecture attendance is such a waste, I convinced myself to go but I’m skipping in the future lmao slow boring useless

like i started the morning off excited to read book and listening to political podcasts and now all momentum is ruined and i just feel tired lmao

I understand what you’re going for but lol

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The one guy (took forever to build up courage) but when I did it went well - I didn’t ask much only like one or two questions and not everything I was thinking about but idk overall p successful interaction and prob good for confidence boost social. I considered going

Around and talking to other groups just for practice but meh I’m tired and wanted to walk away with a somewhat W. Very funny tho apparently the YDSA group blew up last year bc leftist infighting (classic) so now they only have 10 ppl. But yeah I’m curious so I’m go to meeting

I have really weird habits sometimes lol - like very uncharacteristic activity. Usually this is bc I’m curious I think and then I do something outgoing. Today I went to the library in between classes and looked at books for over an hour which ig is pretty individual but still

Then after my last class I went to this club fair thing (I think mostly for freshmen but w/e) and I was really only interested in YDSA but it was busy and I was really tired and uncomfy so I went home. But now I just went BACK OUT and walked all the way out just to talk to

i love ppl watching so much so cute

i actually smile irl so big

Jenny Stewart 2009 Public Policy Values Chapter 1: What Are Policy Values? really good overview and categorization of policy values, good resources to look into

https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/errico-malatesta-reformism

theanarchistlibrary.org

Reformism

Errico Malatesta Reformism From Malatesta: Life and Ideas, Verne Richards’ ed., London, Freedom Press, 1965

.Sep 12, 2021

my body image violently swings and i hate it :( wish i could be pretty / wish i could view myself as pretty consistently (those are two very different things im aware and one is much more healthy of a desire but i cant help it :////

.Sep 12, 2021

im so exhausted. school takes so much out of me holy shit. i tried doing some personal reading after hw today and i just could not get very far. to be fair im new to decolonialism and stuff so prob woulda struggled anyway

Stress breakout, chubby tummy, chest acne, body hair, mangled scar, exhausted eyes, feel disgusting lol

http://noahpinionblog.blogspot.com/2017/05/vast-literatures-as-mud-moats.html

noahpinionblog.blogspot.com

Vast literatures as mud moats

I don't know why academic literatures are so often referred to as "vast" (the phrase goes back well over a century ), but it seems like ...

https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/george-barrett-objections-to-anarchism

theanarchistlibrary.org

Objections to Anarchism

George Barrett Objections to Anarchism 1921 Fourpence Freedom Press, 127, Ossulston Street, London, N.W.1.

omfg i love this

DSA moment lmao - yooo why are we fucking around with the international shitters just gimme healthcare. Socialism.. that is nationalistic.. why did no one think of this?? Obv not that bad ig but zoomer isolationist brain rot yikes

I feel really cute rn, having long hair is so so nice

I have a hard time telling if discussions are so bad because ppl feel constrained socially or if they just haven’t thought that much. Latter makes sense bc class incentivize just getting work done not thinking deep and this might be first time thinking about, but still so boring

Former influences too for sure (my personal experience) but I get the sense that most ppl just don’t have anything interesting to say on the topic regardless of social factors

Ofc I still like discussion and community based learning conceptually, but without proper institutions (or lakethereof [abolish compulsory school]) it’s just really frustrating and mostly worthless. Would rather listen to one person operating within the banking model

Because at least I’ll be introduced to new concepts and ideas. Discussions within banking model are just so shit lmao

https://thethinkingasexual.wordpress.com/2013/05/07/relationship-anarchy-basics/ good primer for RA

thethinkingasexual.wordpress.com

Relationship Anarchy Basics

What is relationship anarchy? Relationship anarchy is a lifestyle, a way of doing personal relationships. Relationship anarchy is a philosophy, specifically a philosophy of love. A relationship ana…

.Sep 9, 2021

I’m so tired already :( this is going to be a rough semester

.Sep 9, 2021

Forgot how bad I am at human interaction lol yikes

.Sep 9, 2021

i like the word eclectic, seems p neat

My prof is really young and nice, but class is full of econ poli Sci bros so I’m scared lol

My neck is a mangled mess (steroid inj) but overall feeling good of doing irl things

Pretty sure I became 15% more gay this morning

College boys are so cute lol

honestly first class wasnt nearly as bad as i hyped in my head, mostly just boring. i dont get how people just decide to do small talk tho how bazaar

extremely interesting, still skeptical about the state and how the author defines "socialism", but yeah theory struggles with the empirical reality - also i recognize like all the references thats so cool https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/08969205211031624

also good place to look for future references and reading

.Sep 7, 2021

Filled out a survey for a class tomorrow and wow I am like really really uncomfortable providing personal information like pronouns/anxiety/accommodations like it feels so fake I’d rather just deal with it on my own and not bother risking uncomfy