too many damn light switches in my apt

My linguistic and conceptual repertoire is painfully limited. All felt and thought by humans > things codified into language > words reasonably available to contemporary me (not lost to time/location/region locked) > exclusive English fluency > words I’ve been exposed to > vocabulary I maintain

I fall in love - not just romantically, but in all domains - quickly* and deeply, and without much commitment or consistency. This is a characteristically young person’s way of approaching the world, and I wonder if it will change over time.

Much to my dismay, I enjoy many aspects of my job

This actually makes me a bit sad. I remember watching recordings of older bmth shows where Ollie would goad the audience to come touch him, and security would try and fail to keep the horde at bay. Here he kinda just wanders around and high fives some ppl.

I slept less than 3 hours last night, and I feel something less and more than tired rn. I already napped and my eyes feel shadow pain behind and underneath them, like it’s in my bones. I don’t even know how to describe the feeling I’m having. It’s not tiredness or fatigue, it just feels really bad.🤕

yeowch neck hurty

Good luck bonding over mutual interests with someone whose passions are so transient, whose fixation is so overbearing, whose engagement with community oscillates from exclusively observational to outright rejection with no in between.

No one has better music taste than my past self - who else could have such bangers just waiting to be shuffled through?

Critical support for the C-suite exec posting “This looks good. A lot of great information.” in the chat while the call is reviewing the work I did that he absolutely does not understand lmao

still can’t believe my employer has gotten away with posting orientalism on main for like a decade, like people have to show up to that building every day man

Attempting to explain Halimede to the uninitiated is more difficult than I thought it would be lol

It’s reasonable to have concerns about what they’re called, but I actually think gynephilia and androphilia as concepts are very helpful because they dissociate the user’s gender identity from who they’re sexually attracted to

the early 2010s was such a lovely time for earnestly cringe angsty melodramatic emo music

Ling tosite sigure is fucking incredible. compositionally mind blowing, vocals dripping with emotion, guitars spark with energy; everything is spectacular - but the thing i can't stop thinking about is how they've made me realize how criminally under-utilized and under-appreciated the hi-hat is.

i was never really bothered by it, but it's kinda nice to have an apartment where I don't have to hear my neighbors, traffic, or a frat party down the street lol

I know it shouldn’t be surprising, but it still is a little shocking to see the extent to which “commentary influencers” are just baldly agents of social reproduction

Screenlife weekend is over, here's the result (i was fairly generous with grading)

this is related to (or a symptom of) my lacking ability to properly change the subject. i play within the rules of the game provided and have immense difficulty fluidly transitioning from context to context. I remain trapped with my own lack of imagination and lack of courage

Sometimes life is in between keyframes

The crisp night air is so comforting

the screenlife film genre is not ready for tiling window managers

i think i'm kinda lonely but the thought of being around someone rn is repulsive

feel nauseous, i believe this is my body telling me to stop eating the same thing for every meal

screenlife binge rankings so far: searching missing unfriended: dark web unfriended megan is missing the den open windows

i love screenlife films, theyre so bad

Megan is Missing is such a blatantly and objectively bad film that I'm tempted to say it loops back around to being somewhat good in some ways - but I don't think I can.

i think its kinda endearing that a few of the ppl i consistently work w are having more comfy dynamics over time. theyre picking up on my habits, tendencies, and can pick up on my emotional state more easily. i dont mind being open and chill w ppl, and its nice to have the support/understanding

I don’t wanna upgrade my RAM bc my MB is DDR4, so I should get new MB. New MB prolly wont fit nice in current case bc it’s tight pre-build. CPU prolly not compatible w new MB, replace that too. Have to be careful about wattage w new parts, maybe new PSU… mmk nvm I’m not upgrading anything

I HAVE ENERGY

dawg my customer is just reading out his personal credit card number on a call with 20 people for testing purposes 😭 poor guy is gonna get his identity stolen

Maybe I am missing something, but I just haven’t seen a good definition or explanation of the whole ‘internal monologue’ thing.

Sometimes I forget how massive the proportion of 16 year olds is in most online spaces

It’s so funny how 90% of current leftwt discourse is just failed reading comprehension of a single paragraph

Shout out to all my nudes hosted on discord’s servers that are just deep web links accessible to anyone Horny girls have terrible opsec

I’m being tossed under the bus and they don’t even understand what they’re talking about T-T

I wasn’t really paying attention but I wonder how much more lenient my teachers were on me during my 5 doctors visits a week ED phase lol

Kinda miss the days of watching every OWL stream, VOD reviewing, studying games and taking notes. It was cool to have cultivated this really strong game sense and understanding of the flow of the game.

I’d be significantly more attractive if I got more sleep but I refuse to betray my tomoko aesthetic

I am neet lain pissgirl 543 and you can’t stop me

i suck at micro-blogging because it requires strong thesis statements and i'm a non-binary non-monogamous pansexual (can't commit to anything, never made a choice in my life)

my heart hurts and i am NOT kidding :3

i have a cute voice uwu heat from fire, fire from heat uwu

Cute how song lyrics are indexed by mood in my brain. Flare up of same emotion has me referencing tracks from years ago, and then I’m surprised they’re already sorted into the appropriate playlist

boys will tirelessly assert the same conclusion for years and yet be hopelessly engrossed with every new context for the chance to reassert it

It’s likely erroneous pattern recognition or wishful thinking, but I can see the joy fade from her eyes over time. The pictures become less frequent, the smiles become more forced (don’t get me wrong, she knows how to perform pleasure well, but I can tell the difference).

family had a storage issue with photos, i went to help out. found a bunch of pics of her and idk what to say.

I’d be so much happier if I got a CS degree instead of one of my humanities trash ones. Coding is cozy and people are shit. It’s not even like “oh no I’d be sacrificing my passion for a paycheck”. The subject is just infinitely more compelling than reheated progressive liberal drivel, idc abt $.