Lol well okay cool ig

it always puts me in a shit mood - pragmatically its annoying, culturally its disappointing, technologically its myopic, philosophically its incoherent, and politically its depressing. personally, frankly, its frightening. a staggering amount of my personal history there, and no discretionary power.

youtube moderation is hitlerite when it comes to external links im gonna kms

I can’t believe I have work tomorrow That statement is partially a figure of speech but also partially genuinely reflective of the pattern my brain gets into when isolated and degen-ing for a weekend. Reminds it of no homework holiday breaks.

i'm not sure if i should be more surprised about the relative share of development attention that strongholds received a dozen years ago or the fact that they haven't been significantly touched since then.

minus a few QoL improvements, 1.0.0 is superior in basically every way to modern minecraft. the atmosphere, the cave generation, the pace of progression. rather than being a checklist to end game and a dash between structures, the shortcut-less empty world is a true sandbox.

russian is such a goofy language /pos

I like my relationships how I like my politics: all theory, no practice

Given how infrequently I voluntarily interact with others, I spend an inordinate amount of time contemplating their significance

I only use shampoo like once a month and my hair is still really dry. Directly applying something like argon oil is too greasy tho. Maybe I need to take shorter/colder showers?

Guy who struggles to make it through a single anime cour over the course of multiple weeks but then rewatches 3 seasons of House in an afternoon (me)

my rejection of legibly cognizable relationships can be a crutch that enables cowardice and passivity. despite my ability to be straightforward in other areas, asserting myself and thereby risking imposition and non-reciprocation makes me fearful and meek.

‘Sideloading’ apps has been the greatest improvement to the usage of my Apple products, but how painful they make it is wild. Hopefully I’ll switch to android next chance I get, but I don’t anticipate that being for a while. Refreshing my 2 allowed apps once a week until then lol.

oliSUNvia is so fun to hate watch and get triggered by. it's interesting sociologically to see what type of pop philosophy is in vogue and to see her adapting academic materials to her generation's context, but philosophically its just frustratingly poor lol.

hasan x h3 is so funny bc its just larping socdem vs honest socdem. i hate zoomer bernie brocialism lmfao

It’s very funny how I’ll hate the feeling of having a body and feel disgusting all the time, and then I’ll look in the mirror and be like “oh, cute!” Because of the former I’m quite disinclined to actually do the latter by anything other than accident.

I deeply dislike the feeling of food in my stomach. It’s such a relief when I’m empty.

I bounce between states of being so frequently that “episode” feels more appropriate than “arc” or “season”. I’m don’t think I’m enjoying the current episode very much.

My mom is neurotically concerned with whether or not I love her, and I don’t really know what to do with that. “Love” is treated categorically, and without gradation or context. Constantly be called to account for my love (or lack) disinclines me to answer favorably.

*installs blackout curtains throughout my apartment* *turns off all the lights* “Ahhh, peace at last” *pulls out my phone flashlight to navigate because I can’t see shit*

One of these days someone will call me out for talking to myself while I’m having an anxiety attack and it’ll be fun to see what destructive emotions result from that

shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup

If I don’t vacuum at least once a week, a carpet of my hair accumulates on the floor

The worst thing about getting a strike on youtube is not being able to add anything to playlists, so everything piles up in my watch later until I can organize it all

It’s kinda wild how much less gas I use now that I no longer live downtown

Every sensory input is a violent intrusion. I am disgusted by the stench, the repulsive texture, the cacophony that is the external world.

I miss the lockdowns, leaving my house every day is really hard

I wish more of my mental problems were ego-syntonic. Anorexia and mania and self harm are fun to ride the high with, depression and anxiety are just tiring and inconvenient.

Surely my erratic emotions and lack of motivation/energy have nothing to with my volatile and inadequate sleep schedule

It’s so fucking humiliating being completely incompetent

I actually think posting everyday things is gonna be extremely unhealthy for me if I keep it up. I’m kinda miserable all the time and encouraging myself to make quasi-public note of it, instead of just powering through, makes it so much worse. One of the reasons having IRLs is so difficult for me.

I hate how clothes feel on my body. But not having every inch covered is unbearable. ugly ugly ugly

I’m effectively useless at my job without someone holding my hand the whole time. It’s annoying (I’m sure to others more than me) but I can’t bring myself to care enough to dramatically improve.

yesterday a few guy friends of a friend came over to my place and when they found out i only use my fridge for a water pitcher they moved and unplugged it for me. very cute, dudes rock sometimes

>notices UI inconsistency >wonder if there's a fix >finds bug report >success.png >bug has been open over 20 years, last post 5mo ago >200 posts of devs arguing back and forth about who understands UI philosophy better and if this is even a real issue >multiple complete patches, 0 commits >nvm fml

i might try not being a repost bot on this platform - best chance is probably flippant nichijou-kei posting but that's pretty far outside my comfort zone

neon genesis evangelion is kinda meh so far, we'll see tho

Also found this on Isaiah’s pc

oh yea btw grandma broke her hip after we left lmao nice

i had a weird convo with holly yesterday about veganism and idk it was hard bc i didnt know if to just be completely honest and have a ton of explaining to do or just give surface level answers

ive been thinking about the morality of secrets, specifically in close relationships bc of something isaiah brought up yesterday telling a story about finding lewds in someones camera roll and causing a breakup, wanna come back to at some point and flesh things out more

googled some stuff about esperanto this morn bc i was interested and then looked on twitter for linguist perspectives and this is a really good critique

found someones cute pfp but it was low qual so i remade :3

BRO ahehbfnfjdjdjbd this is why it’s so hard to find actual resources on this shit. Like personally rn I can’t say confidently I’m a prison abolitionist bc I don’t know what my positive vision would look like, need to explore more critical criminology, transformative justice,

Bro this guy in my class is so conservative and so shit lmfao every time he talks. And it’s annoying bc it’s not like the typical conservative shitter it’s more like William Buckley type and it’s just dressed up more. He speaks up a lot but it’s always in little chunks

just read an article critiquing Butler's gender theory by Dennis Schep ("The Limits of Performativity: A Critique of Hegemony in Gender Theory") and idk how to think about it yet but i have some feelings

i was correct about my prediction of stress break out. lets goooo i was correct / what the fuck this sucks

had to research a bill for class and actually found something that is really interesting that i dont know how to feel about yet