despite being a vertical tab diehard for years, i’m just now coming around to appreciate tree tabs

having a record of thoughts here makes me seem significantly more unwell than i feel

choking myself and the constriction and tightness is comforting, but I run into an ugly feature (features) of my neck and it’s disgusting and now i wanna cry

im embarrassed and stupid and trying im sorry

do you know who you're talking to? you're looking at the proud creator of a script that extract an ass file from a mkv and turns it into a formatted txt (using lua's bootleg regex) so yeah, a moron

Since getting a job, life has moved unbearably slow. Not the pace overall, if anything I’ve been extremely hectic and busy, and now experience time in a completely different way (shoutout Postone on Newtonian time) - but moreso measured in terms of interesting thoughts.

I’m so hype about it being dark earlier now

oh look it’s the purples

sunday syndrome still goes so hard. one of the all time greats

aspirationally gaunt

i'm self conscious about my typing speed

i like to save old code i write - even if its worthless and unproductive, i enjoy having a historical record of the failure

golden age of lofi pre-over-saturation was super comfy, its charming and quaint looking back

installing 12 firefox forks and replicating my config just to feel something

wearing the bracelet she made me today and all these years later it’s still the most fitting accessory i’ve ever had

i’m severely dehydrated and haven’t eaten all day, too much work to do today to bother with these corporeal trivialities … but now i hav headache 🤕

today is not gonna be fun also when bsky getting gifs

i have not slept and just impulsively bought a new ssd

job has fucked up how i msg ppl online which is rly sad bc it used to be my fav mode of communication

depressed low-t bitches stay winning - more time to wallow in despair and ruminate on all my imperfections

*gets 4 hours of sleep* *spends 9 hours in a heightened state of anxiety and dread at work* “Why am i so tired?”

i need to start archiving shit i love online more often. every time something goes down that i once cherished i feel enormous loss

Had a convo w a close coworker today about my gender since they asked and,, wow am i bad at talking to normies abt gender lol

osno1 😔✊

you gotta respect incelcore for ardently refusing to subsume itself into bedroom punk; the rejection of defanging is a constitutive element of its identity

I don’t really like Ceika’s explanation of unproductive labor. He makes it sound like you can just directly produce a good or service and exchange in exchange for money and since there isn’t an actual distinct capitalist therefore it’s not capital?? Self-employed people can still do productive labor

this vid is so funny bc it's babies first philosophy, lit theory, and theology all wrapped into one and presented as complex and deep while being weirdly laudatory of a very standard (and underwhelming) authorial approach

i would've been so much cooler if i had been obsessed with vocaloid when i was younger. i kinda wanna try to get into it now.

tried to watch anime today. made it through one and a half episodes before taking a screenshot, then decided to spend the rest of the day adding functionality to my mpv screenshot script. comff

weird feature on mobile apps i don't understand is when shake detection triggers a bug report prompt. like ig they're assuming ppl get frustrated and shake their phone but like.. ok who actually does that lmfao. most of the time it just triggers on accident while i walk around leave me alone

the overwatch k-pop video is just such a miss, but in a really fitting way. the animation makes no sense with the song and there's no integration between the animation and the dancing, the animation itself is tame and inoffensive and bland.

this was not fun or a good idea. alcohol is nasty and gross and makes me feel bad

stress acne is mean >:(

i've had a weird desire to drink lately and i'm gonna do it tonight :3

flatpak theming is torture and impossible

mental health depression spiral prevented by japanese woman vocal nightcore yet again youtu.be/YexzPItkMQA?...

thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry thanks sorry t

some days i feel like mr. krabs without the shell 🔥💯💵🤙💎 🙌

tension tension tension discomfort

after skipping a meal or two it’s really hard not to keep the momentum going. i miss being empty and frail and thin. it’s annoying that i cant feel the pangs anymore, they were really addictive. i want to be elegantly vacant, and instead i’m just a shameful, misshapen, disgusting wreck of a body.

Been a while since I got a cubicle shipment, feel like I’m 12 again

explicit criticism is much nicer (comforting even) relative to the fear of the silent judgement of others. although that's a bit unfair of a comparison, because it's the "fear of" clause is doing the heavy lifting, idc about silent judgment that much

i'm lesbo-maxxing today (wearing flannel)

the whole attempt to comfort me by asking "i know you have anxiety when reaching out to co-workers, but think of it this way, how would you feel if someone reached out to you randomly to ask about something you know a lot about?" backfired when i told him i would be anxious about that too

I’m so fatigue… 1.5x is overwhelming, 100 bpm is overwhelming… brain go slow

drinking coffee during our kiss break