idk if its anxiety or what but i go through these spouts where the thought of human interaction is actually sickening and i just never want to see anyone ever again. its really uncomfortable knowing that ill have to continue on and i desperately want to avoid it

"productivity" hell i fucking hate this shit, I'm so tired of this shit

im really tired w social interaction stuff

really like this, and the point about using "kids" not "children" is interesting https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/i-an-ok-ta-chai-youth-liberation

had really odd interaction with ryno lol... is this how girls feel receiving horny texts? he sent me 2 nudes w little to no context whatsoever lol

i was like developmentally stagnant for a long time in my youth, like totally unaware of a lot of really important shit. parents kept shit, friends with similar (like scott) I just really didn't have very much interaction with real stuff.

Oh also I talked to ren (MuZhoka’s romantic/sexual interest) last night and she’s super cool. She posted this as a part of her daily Instagram update post thing. Very cute very fun

Heading in to a meeting with prof to talk about book I read. P out of character but idk I thought it might be fun. Also the book is about sex and sometimes she feels a little puritanical so we’ll see. I will update after

something i wanna reflect on more later is about the time gail taught me how media criticism is important not just within the world that has been constructed, but also the choices that the writers make to put characters in certain situations

There were only 16 people today in class and it was pretty wild how much more comfortable I was speaking. Still awkward and weird and uncomfy but like it def changes my personality

bruh like this. is so fucking cute https://www.ae.com/us/en/p/aerie/bralettes/bra-tops/aerie-holiday-best-lace-waffle-longline-bralette/2694_3408_584?menu=cat4840006

i wish kyouko had her hair colored darker to reflect it being brown. struggling to vibe gender w for p sure that exclusive reason

Feeling good about hair, especially when it brushes over shoulders

hm watching Sound! Euponium and thinking about the difference between queer baiting and queerplatonic representation. like i imagine the intention was queer bait-y but is it possible nonetheless to be interpreted otherwise? but what are the limits to that alternative interpretat

cooking is nice and relaxing thing to focus on, even if eating not so much lol, wish i learned earlier

nuking social media shit for a bit, ironic im tweeting about but i think this is different bc its more diary. i need a break and i dont feel good about much rn. gonna try and chill. (as much as i can w school)

incredible

not to mention like maybe you notice children rebelling when "given" freedom because every other fucking time in their life they're coerced to do things they don't want to do

really not feeling like interacting with anyone ever again. i really wonder what interaction and codetermination would look like before we constructed all these terrible things. getting post-x is good and youve thought it through, but there are still the tinges of it yk

THATS IT DUDE IVE READ ENOUGH. everyone has terrible opinion i hate it here i want out i take it back fuck it all im a monarchist now. every response is infurating lmfao i hate it so much but i cant close the chat this fucking sucks dude

STOP TWEETING, JUST REST CANT REST HOW WTF, I FEEL LIKE IM ON THE CLOCK TO REST AND RECOVER BEFORE I HAVE TO BE AT A PLACE FUCK THAT WANT DIE WANT BREAK LET ME OUT fuck school.

ok hm i think i have changed my perspective, at least a bit

:(

i wanna cry and go home now pls

i just want it to stop :( im so sad and my head keeps thinking and i want it to stop :(

Like bro I’m sorry but this is ridiculous. Ofc there are massive massive limitations to having people of every privileged group talking about intersectionality, but wtf. The alternative is just to ignore it? Wha?

watched a few vids of this person who is well educated on political theory and parts of it critiqued others stuff. was informative and helpful, but also the guy operated very like angry vindictive toxic masc and it made really sad and tired lol

Normally I use :) genuinely but in this case it was pretty clear it was an important thing to him to really express proud of your type stuff

Toward the Destruction of Schooling - Jan D. Matthews LITERALLY THE BEST FUCKING RESOURCE FOR SCHOOL ABOLITION. VERY SHORT, VERY POWERFUL

my scar is super super flat now, still discolored extra dark from the shot, but i think that it continues to go away. nice :)

So much going on here. expecting politicians to not deviate for power or capital, but I mean at least they’re showing their dissatisfaction with that. Hilarious that the response to that is to say “get back in line” lol

Thus, in 1876, at the IWMA (Federalist) Berne Congress, Malatesta declared that in spite of the devotion and respect that linked his followers to Bakunin, they were not 'Bakuninists', firstly because 'we do not share all the practical and theoretical ideas of Bakunin', and

I cannot explain how much influence this video has had in shaping my self identity, sexuality, so much lol https://youtu.be/DUMx9HsJnZs

Also this acc started a year ago and I’ve tweeted 1345 tweets to myself, FeelsGoodMan

Also I had some sugar today and holy shit my heart went wild. Body def isn’t used to lol

Soooooo tired after spending time with family. I go at 100% and then sudden boom I’m down to nothing and just die

I’m thinking about things in my life that hinted at normative positions I hold now (relationship anarchy, anarchic in general, queer gender identity, vegan). Some of them have really nothing at all that I can remember (vegan) but others do.

Lol it’s funny how I now go on walks just because

Reading Ideology and Utopia and I’ve just barley started but this guy is just saying banger after banger like literally I’m highlighting every paragraph wtf

Feeling very tired out. Glad it’s weekend. Don’t know what I’ll do tho. No energy to read or game or social. Maybe anime/manga? Don’t feel like I can fully enjoy either. Just wanna lay down

reading "screw consent" which is like largely interesting? but a ton of the examples are like totally not with my intuitions and he acts like theyre just immediately obvious. perhaps i would be more open if i was more familiar with the literature hes contributing to?

didnt love love this manga (My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness), bc the themes explored and "moral of the story" type things weren't that great, but frequently very relatable to past or rough patches. but wanted to take note of these panels

Rereading through highlights of Malatesta's anthology and wanted to document some of the more explicit examples where he talks about what anarchist organizations look like, as i think theyre really inspiring

Lol in class this person defending “kids have to eat vegetables” - actually the most annoying thing lol. I had to make notes to myself about all the reasons it bothered me so much

also i reread malatesta's Anarchy and its got some great passages lol

feeling really content and satisfied with life rn :)

Soooo tired and cold feeling super cuddly

Oh in class I wrote a bunch about “getting over” (2 full pages of back and forth with myself) the conclusion I came to was that it’s basically fine to have lingering affections for someone that used to be in your life, as long as it 1) doesn’t interfere with other people,