okay so i read the 'polysecure' book just for fun and it's unfortunately exactly what i anticipated it would be

the attachment theory stuff is fine and good, even neat sometimes when contextualized to non-monog, but at the end of the day it's still like pop psych attachment theory lol. that's easily the book at it's best tbh, and it's also the least novel contribution.

it hardcore struggles from trying to be evaluatively unopinionated on forms of poly while simultaneously being explicitly normative, and the actual understanding and insights disappoint real hard as a result.

it frequently lapses into an descriptions of relationships that would make even the most shallow "relationship anarchist" roll their eyes. a predictable failure mode of trying to speak to such a breadth of relationship models, its kinda just embarrassing for the philosophically sensitive ones.

a lot of the situations presented in the book are like impossible to sympathize with skissue shit, like yea ik you're trying not to induce shame or feelings of not being good enough but idk vro sometimes you just gotta fix ur shit and get gud

oh yea i figured that out a while back

ah fuck

thanks ollie i can always count on you

you're gonna likebot me now right

wow you're so trans and anorexic,, that must be *so* hard for you

extended cut

we need to get you a pds light switch

#2 is calling your name…

i love your highlights

me when i access a restricted patient chart

turns out all it took for me to be a sabrina carpenter fan was nightcore and anime thumbnails

men’s 5 in 1 shampoo ass idea

fat fuck

alt text backfill so i never lose this guy

you wouldn’t get it…

suuper feel that. in some ways it’s my best, in many other ways it’s my worst. low time-investment recurring meet-ups with an easy escape option in a safe environment keep the stress low, but the stars do kind of have to align. sometimes i can push myself for a duration and it can still be worth it

you’re right to call it out as an oddity because i do often struggle with irl very significantly (and of course, the list is intentionally contextually under-specified),

but i think the idea i was going for is that, if circumstances are propitious (big if), there is an unmatched degree of comfort and interactive capacity available, and that communication is less bound by linguistic constraints.

irl is also able to have very drastic immediate influence, like sometimes you just need a hug yknow?

but yea usually i can get tired very quickly from excessive irl exposure, so its ranking is really inflated by its peaks and not so much its perpetual exercise. whereas async low-pressure communication gets ranked high for its comfortability and non-imposition

45min kasey pow-wows 3 times a week are this lovely irl sweet spot hehe

yea i just don’t really fw group chats

fr

u really got my ass there tbh

tyty

willow interaction modalities ranked: 1. irl 2. async voice memos 3. bluesky posts 4. dms 5. voice calls 6. video calls 7. non-dyadic communication

however, also consider

more like barney stinson

🪦r.i.p cat.kasey.moe.meows 🙏

i’ve literally been saying this

@izymuffen.bsky.social come defend yourself, no one believes me when i say you have exquisite taste

the context is right there!! it’s my brother’s fault!! i’m innocent!!

absolutely

pictured: diza

real asf, me disabling it is one of the most common causes of confusion and its baffling

also why r u trying to grope my laptop bro like 😭

i would say i'm working on it but that'd be a lie

all i want for christmas is my middle click to work without workarounds

ctrl+click does the trick and so does middle clicking the timestamp (if it has one, unlike quotes) but it still makes me sad

i chose this issue link because it has the most descriptive title :p