wtf goin in my mentions vro

this is what i look like, if you even care

become ungovernable; post valorant clipdump montage tracks beside radical literature audiobooks, tranny music, hexd, and soundcloud drum slop

one day i'm getting banned on youtube for hating stacys, next thing you know i'm whipping out my annotated copy of science of logic

i won't let (((them))) keep me down tho, just sneakily reposted under the radar

kasey can confirm that incelcore is one of my favorite genres, and for multiple years now i've wanted to write a blog post about how i genuinely think its one of the most philosophically and politically fruitful sonic forms that contemporarily exist

i contain multitudes

did i ever tell y’all i had a minecraft girlfriend in elementary school and we emailed each other pictures of ourselves (i sent mine from my school email)

we would meet on our prison plots and whisper each other we had a fireworks date it was cute

i could have been groomed so easily lol

the most significant philosophical sympathies one has are impossible to explicate lexically

both in terms of actual possibility of formulation and in terms of limitations to self-knowledge of one’s own subconscious

mhm yea absolutely i agree

offending video

clearly identical to

Give up on life n0thanky0u.neocities.org/blog_posts/g...

lmao i literally outsmarted myself > made a quick bash script to automate a task and put in my local bin > kinda performing the desired task, but performing weirdly > realize a while ago i made a .basrc alias WITH THE EXACT SAME NAME as my script fml

i stole years of your life. i don’t want forgiveness, i want you to forget me and be as happy as you can without the anchor around your neck.

it’s telling that i have more pictures of you with my brother than me in the last couple years of our relationship. i wasn’t meant for you, and i didn’t put a modicum of effort into us. i’m sorry for the heartbreak and frustration, i wasn’t worth it.

You see love's a funny thing The way it lingers in the mind No matter what you do Or the passing of time That ember still glows For those lovers behind No matter if it's well-remembered That light still shines

i love you, thank you for being understanding and kind

if mary plays her cards right it doesn’t have to be an alternate reality…. 👀

actually chatting w you has kinda been the perfect thing: light but serious, asynchronous, you give me a lot of space to yap, etc appreciate u lots

eh yeah i agree actually lol, just demonstrating i have a habit of inducing this reaction even if philosophically i think it’s spurious, i have sympathy for the basal negative emotions i cause

yea i like that too, just gets awkward when things get lopsided, and can feel extractive on their end sometimes plus i have a tendency to get bored with people and be very temperamental and flakey idk, doesn’t matter much any more. work has murdered social life

yeah, i have a very strong isolation tendency. used to be a lot stronger if you can believe it. i’d like to think i’ve learned to communicate a bit better, but it’s tricky because because sometimes even that can feel like an infringement on my Sacred Autonomy. as a result i can be pretty neglectful

lol yea, she got reaaally close with my family, was more or less family already they even kept in contact for a while after we broke up, until it got too painful and they had their own mini breakup

nearly 5 years of coming over daily will do that i suppose

i just feel bad for my brother more than anything basically lost an older sister

dating me is fun because i don’t want to do things with you or talk to you and basically want nothing to do with you

exhibit a (girlfriend going to lunch with my mom and brother, while i *might* say hi) kasey can confirm very little has changed

that’s if she’d be lucky enough to get a response. i have evidence of me literally just ghosting for multiple days at a time

“deservingness” is a property that has always confused me, but for you the application comes naturally. you deserve happiness, you deserve love, you deserve effort. and you don’t need my judgement to know that.

you’re the strongest, most admirable person i’ve ever known, and endlessly i’m grateful for the time and care you selflessly gave me, far beyond what i deserved.

i want to say something like “i wish you had spent it on someone more worthwhile” but that isn’t true. i’m glad it was me. and i also can’t say “i wish i had acted differently” because i’m convinced i never had the potential to be what you needed. i just wish my benefit didn’t come at your expense.

we knew from the start i wasn’t really the right fit for you, and both kinda hoped i’d grow into it some day. that never happened. losing you helped a bit, but i’m still not in a place where i could truly fulfill you.

which is fine, of course. i’m well beyond the point in my life where i would consider amorous connections as a life purpose, at least not in the naive sense.

i don’t know, i don’t have anything insightful to say. i’m just tired, i miss you, i’m sorry, and i want to go home.

day 516 of shilling for uYouPlus