chloe is good at handling such situations

massive respect actually

i think i need to find my own interests for once in my life

mellow isn't even really me. he just liked n0 mostly. maniac just liked destiny. still shaking off their influence and it's hard as an autodidact

i'm exaggerating but its true

patreon podcast 2024-12-04

i've been experiencing too many derivative works

excuses excuses excuses for never doing the things i want to do

but things i want to do are too fickle to improve. i'm unsteady

something has to break though, ive been backwards looking for far too long

i was right that i had to get bored to realize this

i'm still living my life a weekend at a time but if thats the pace of progress so be it

i like that my eyes are always tired

choosing affirmation this time

i’m choosing to be confident about it

willow is still around and i’m not gonna stop her from playing, but i’m also not gonna attribute too much weight to it

i hope cinny is alright

i’ve gotta stop waking and staying up so early

“please tell me if you find this account” i think im the opposite jonas, i almost want people to see it but i don’t want to know they’ve seen it so i can keep talking without the weight of consideration

i have no interest in politics or philosophy or economics anymore, really i’d just prefer to forget it all. but it is kinda embarrassing to have nothing to show for my life. i’ll catch up to something i care about eventually i guess. though i also kinda lack motivation for that too

not that i have to like “have a thing” but it sucks being a nothing person. oh well ruminating not gonna make it any better, and idc to address it rn

i still feel hidden with hailey, like i’m not sure certain parts of myself will ever come into play. which is maybe actually kind of cool? unclear

oh what the fuck the sun only shows up when you make a profile record, lol that’s cute

ig i didn’t notice it missing before, i forget how long it sticks around

okay that’s kinda fun i woke up at like 3am with my phone dead. plugged it in and went to the bathroom thinking “hmm i wanna dm hailey, maybe now would be a weird time of night but when i wake up fr maybe” and when i get back to bed i see notifs from her :)

still not really sure what to make of her but i’ve got hope and it’s pleasant. i genuinely do like that she has her own stuff going on, is clearly still figuring things out but i feel like she’ll end at a really cool spot and im glad to be a part of that

i don’t think i want to push to be like main character right? like she has a lot of people vying for her attention and part of what’s good about us is just being lowkey and low stress

we’ve all been around one another long enough to see the ugly sides and i think it’s meaningful that we keep interacting

first blob btw, suppose this is a real account now. i chose arf bc its clearly such a meme throwaway account. can’t imagine anything will come of this (clueless)

i’ve got some lessons to learn from juliet after all

third wheeling is pretty alright, i hope im not too much of a nuisance. david seemed comfy enough tho

i have certain speech patterns that i think might be undesirable, especially with more soft spoken people

they call it cooperative overlap but i’m thinkin it’s more often just interrupting and scaring the hoes away

i’ve wanted to take down my website for a while

blogs especially

i don’t really know what to make of lev lmao

i can’t really hang with you tbh, like i’m just not about that life anymore

you’re cool, i just gotta stop making friends with skill quotas

don’t like dza as much anymore

trans suicide statistics when kasey joins vc:

hm i don’t feel so restful

i try to like intentionally talk about mundane things but it should probably be more automatic right

i love my pc, way more comfy than mobile or work computer or laptop

newtype ramble 0 last segment is real and its a lil humiliating but thats ok

i'll fix it later/soon

hm i'm overstaying my welcome with my current activities but i need to complete them

like i barely have anything to say in general, and i especially dont have anything to say to any of you

i just dont like my tone either its boring