Also seeing this stuff has been really hard

I know it’s silly and ridiculous but tummy stuff really bothers me

really wild how much not eating much for a day can really change, feel really good about body rn, ive sorta been maintaining for a bit but i think i want to drop just a touch, i know prob unhealthy but ill stay within good range (i know that ill say that now and might feel diff

after i begin). For now: CW 162, GW 155, UGW 150. I should be able to do by end of semester pretty easily. body weight flux super gross and not good but that just means ill have to keep it down, be better at maintain.

Wanted to talk to Bookchin person but got shy again rip

the worksheet itself. For instance people love taking political compass tests and even I participated and made my own web activity thing. I think people want to do stuff, even if its a more like standardized sheet, because the important part is your personal inputs

and not like theres any one correct answer. Anyway I'd love to get my hands on the rest of this. It's on audible so I'll try and finish my current book (which is annoying bleh) and trade for it before my current trial ends. Weird no pdf tho rip

Racists or Stamped. Very student centered, extremely epistemically humble, fantastic understanding of intersectionality. Like seriously, it just does a great job of explaining standard social justice positions in a way that doesn't come across as preachy or dogmatic, and

leaves open the possibility for mistakes and changes. It's not like proposing any radical new way of envisioning things, but instead is just super great at summarizing concisely our current understanding in social sciences about these things.

The addition I love is the examples of materials and activities, and the showcasing of student work and experiences. I do have some misgivings about "do this worksheet that I tell you to" but I think that has more to deal with the structure of the school and not so much

Liz Kleinrock's Start Here Start Now: A Guide to Antibias and Antiracist Work in Your School Community is probably the best work I've read on social justice pedagogy. I only have access to the intro and first chapter but already far far better than books like Racism without

oh my god im crying

I’m so fucking tired but I can’t fucking sleep. And I’m doing this thing where I ruminate over every social interaction ever and beat myself up over it and it sucks :( hurty

Stephen J Ball, The teacher’s soul and the terrors of performativity. seriously good piece. i could read it a bunch of times and i hope i will again soon. talks about how people and institutions change as a result of advanced liberal reforms. super interesting and basically

what i was talking through the other day with dad and job searching and how im worried that existing in work institutions will change me and my values, and also relates to the struggles mom has been going through in work

pretty neutral to negative about. so im not even sure if like envy of other's chest is like me actually wanting that, or just me wanting to able to have that warm feeling more often/all the time. where its like i can automatically see myself in the frame i want to

very odd sorta thing idk if ive exactly got the right understanding yet, but im kinda maybe getting there? who knows

if i end up transitioning im gonna be upset at myself for not doing it sooner lmao "i could have had soft skin all this time grrr"

actually i realize ive had chest stuff going on for a while, contrary to what i said the other day. i dont know if its really dysphoria, because that feels like a bit term and its not like that bad, but i mean there definitely has been a shift in my understanding and relationship

to my chest. I can often but not always interpret my chest as breasts? which is sorta weird that it is like modes of thinking, very conditioned by gender binary stuff. but yeah it feels really warm and nice to think of myself in that way, where normally i guess i just feel

i hate my body in theory but then i look in the mirror and feel ok (only when wearing lots of clothes actually seeing skin is sad). This demonstrates that marx was mistaken and idealism was correct all along. in this essay i will

made this for muz lol

lol im so tired and i hate my body :/ having a rough go rn. dont feel like i can relax. also funny news i got 10/10 on my garbage presentation lmao in case we needed any more proof that grades are useless

wanna die :/

oh i wanna add this so i feel like i am accurately conveying and not just like ego boost cringe post. my face got flushed im pretty sure and i felt embarrassed in the moment, and i undoubtedly looked sorta melancholic walking away but when i got back in my place and reflected

it immediately was very odd and funny to me. honestly more than anything i think i was embarrased to have my dad hear that (im sure he did as he was standing right in the next doorway trying to say goodbye to me lol, i never responded bc of this happening)

it is probably pretty odd to see your son like that, and im glad he didnt cause a scene or anything possibly just respecting thats what i wanted but yeah idk i hope he doesnt think thats like a normal occurrence or im constantly being bullied like im in grade school or something

says "yo man whats up with that hickey on your neck haha" hello? lmfao im so confused like why. im not even like offended im just sorta shocked that someone could actually do that lol whats wrong with you. they were wearing badger stuff for the game so maybe he was drunk ?

i have no idea but like why lol. im just some random person you just didnt have to say anything at all. and its funny because like i have clearly gotten self conscious while looking at my neck before but i guess im realizing now it was never fear of something like that happening?

like thats just such a blatant dick move its not even hurtful its more just baffling. the stuff i fear is more the polite speech but passive judgement and disgust, and thats more insidious because i can never tell the difference. if everyone was that honest i just wouldn't care

and in fact it would be super easy just to write people off. totally weird interaction that has really made me reflect on my anxiety. so if in like a year my anxiety is way better, thank the random asshole that confirmed all my priors about sports fans :P

oh just to complete the story, the girls sort of giggled (i cant tell if they were like laughing genuinely or nervously or uncomfortably? couldve been any), and i just responded "so true dude" and walked back inside. fascinating i know. very silly, idk what he expected from that

i just had the most bazaar interaction?? i was walking my dad out after he helped me in my apartment and this guy and 2 girls leave the elevator. were ahead so i open the door for my dad and everyone else. my dad and the girls walk through but the guy stops while walking and

What an odd time to look in the mirror and feel really good about myself

Just don’t wanna feel like a bother. I have anxiety about, gonna need a cute guy to tell me good job after to calm me down from :P

Gonna try to relax when I get home don’t know how tho. Hard to spend leisure time with no energy

Cute guy said good job as I was walking back to my seat tho so it’s ok lol

Honestly that little comment probably prevented me from spiraling into anxiety demon tonight so that was sweet

Really sorta makes me rethink my practice of *never talking unless spoken to ever* bc honestly that was nice

My speech to make it make sense AND there was like a teacher evaluator person there which like normally whatever idc they’re evaluating the teacher not me but it’s the head of one of my certificates like fuck so embarrassing

And I like hyper speed run fucked up my presentation and oh god it was a mess like I had to facilitate discussion for 5 mins and shit I am not good at that, very very thankful to the people that raised their hands

Horrendous experience overall 2/10

Lol I just spent an hour sweating dreading my presentation god fuck hell Seriously my heart was beating so fast fuck , didn’t help that I realized the whole thesis of my presentation was way more unclear than I thought right before class so I spent all this time panic editing

"we think x thing is bad, even though you might normally think good" and is useful for delineating a concept. but this requires a ton a ton a ton of charity on the interpreters part, and honestly thats probably a lot of the appeal for most people

I'm all down for conveying things in better ways to help people understand, but yeah this thread is really silly. also the suggestion to be more positive is like yes absolutely thats fantastic, but i feel like youre specifically using that to divert from the negative

criticism that makes you uncomfortable. as ive talked about before tho ofc i love love alternative models and ideas, and rarely do i have to defend this, but negative critique important too! their words imply they would probably agree with me, but i dont love the frame

overall just be consistent idrc which way you express it but dont be weird about your pet issue

bc also the people that like this stuff are the same people to jump on libs/normies for recoiling at "abolish school" or "abolish prison" like how dare you not know what i mean!! but also i love my family what do you mean you want to abolish them?? lmao

like first of all it clearly is a PR spin thing as the rest of the thread goes on to show, so just be honest. also if youre gonna do it for this "sensitive" thing then?? i dont see how the others are legitimate.